Halloween Dark Universe Watch: The Mummy (2017) - the one with Tom Cruise

Watched:  10/02/2024

Format:  Peacock

Viewing:  First

Director:  Alex Kurtzman

She had style!

She had flair!

She was there!

That's how she became... the Mummy!

This is an amazingly wrong-headed and bad movie.  I really don't want to write it up, because it's going to take forever.  It's problems are legion, and it's astounding to think Universal went so hard at the "Dark Universe" concept and then this was their maiden flight.  A maiden flight which took off, did a loop-de-loop before crashing back into the airport, and which immediately killed the entire concept.  Thank God.

If you need a refresher:  in the wake of the success of Marvel's Avengers movies making a billion dollars each, Universal looked to see what IP they had laying around to exploit.  And, since the silent era, Universal has had classic horror in their stable.  Dracula, Frankenstein, Bride of, Wolfman, The Mummy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Invisible Man... all Universal. What Universal decided to do was create a world in which these creatures co-exist and... fight crime?  I don't know.  And this movie didn't say, despite the fact all they do is stand around and explain things to the detriment of plot, character, and enjoyment of the very thing you're watching. 

There was plenty of precedent.  By the 1940's, the sequels had been bubbling up, and we did see Wolfman meet Frankenstein, and all of the monsters show up in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (which was, obvs, a horror-comedy, but featured the characters as audiences knew them in the straight movies).

Around 2015-16,Universal signed with major stars and were going to do this.  Tom Cruise!  Johnny Depp! Angelina Jolie! Russell Crowe!  Utterly missing the fact the stars of the originals were barely the actors - it was the concept.  They did so, so much press about this, and everyone kind of said "...why would you do this press?  Just make the movies."  But, nope, so high on their own supply, they ran into the streets to tell people about it, and then it blew up in their faces immediately, like Wile E. Coyote with dynamite.

The Mummy (2017) is the Tom Cruise-starring action-monster-not-horror vehicle that took the name and a few concepts from the original The Mummy movie and the subsequent Universal sequels, and turns it into a very expensive actioner devoid of plot, characters, charisma or joy.  Or fear.  It's a painful slog through scenes shot without enough light to ever see anything (Dark Universe!  HA!), wherein you can feel Cruise's people touching up a script that's already overstuffed, but with dollar-store baloney.

Hallowatch: The 'Burbs (1989)

Watched:  09/29/2024

Format:  YouTube (it's streaming free.  Go figure)

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  Joe Dante

Selection:  Jamie

I saw this one in the theater back in the day, and then on VHS and cable after.  But it's been some time since I watched this movie.  And while I liked the movie, boy - does it land now in a different way after living on the same suburban street since 2006.  

My memory was correct that this movie was poorly received upon its release, and it's funny - I think it would do fairly well now with reviewers no longer cloistered in urban centers and insisting on certain lifestyles which would, frankly, make them miss the joke of the movie except as a faint echo of their streets as kids.  Criticism and reviews play an important role, but I think this is just one where the vibe of how the curators of public opinion missed the mark, and it's not a mistake the movie is well-remembered 35 years later.

The film isn't quite a horror film, it is a comedy - and the whole thing feels very Joe Dante.  There's a hyper-realism to the the suburban setting that keeps the movie with one foot firmly planted in realism (the world Carrie Fisher is trying to anchor) while nuttiness abounds.  And Tom Hanks is our POV into what it is to move back and forth between those worlds.

Kris Kristofferson Has Merged With The Infinite

The great Kris Kristofferson - actor, musician, bad-ass - has passed at 88.  

Hallowatch: The Midnight Hour (1985)

Watched:  09/29/2024

Format:  YouTube

Viewing:  First

Director:  Jack Bender

SimonUK has already delved into Halloween movies, and having had already seen everything over the years, he found an ABC TV movie from 1985.  That, in the spirit of 1980's, apparently originally aired the day after Halloween at the height of Reaganism (I did not like how TV was run in the 1980's).  

If I ever know The Midnight Hour (1985) existed - and it is likely that in 1985, I absolutely did not as I was watching mostly Mr. Ed and GI Joe - I have since forgotten it.  And I am pretty sure I would have remembered this.  

The basic idea is one that pops up from time-to-time, it's Halloween and someone unleashes dark magic along the way, meaning - in this movie - zombies, werewolves, vampires, etc...  appear in a Massachusetts town.  And, they sort of take over and turn folks into monsters along the way.  Minus one guy who looks a lot like John Hughes, but isn't him.

The movie has a weird clutch of actors you know or say "really?" about.  Kevin McCarthy and Dick Van Patten each show up for a few scenes as parents.  Levar Burton plays the 1980's staple of the guy who thinks "tonight, me and my lady will finally do it".  The lady is played by Shari Belafonte (daughter of Harry) is pretty good as his ladyfriend whose family is tied to witchcraft in the town going back 200 years.  Jonelle Allen, TV staple, plays her ancestor.  Peter Deluise is in it in a thankless role.  Kurtwood Smith gets two scenes as the town cop.  Cindy Morgan (RIP) plays the teacher who is... sleeping with Peter Deluise and shows off publicly?  The 1980's were wild.  This is a TV movie!

And Wolfman Jack, who never saw a gig he couldn't cash in on, is the DJ on the ever present local radio.  And, btw, the soundtrack on this is surprisingly solid, including Shari Belafonte trying to create a Halloween single called "Get Dead".  But otherwise, oldies hits popular in the 1980's.

The movie is *fun* rather than scary and has a storyline where I'm pretty sure our John Hughes stand-in/ hero bangs a ghost who looks like Betty Cooper.  Again, the 1980's were a different time.

What's curious is how much money it looks like this thing cost.  TV movies used to be fairly expensive affairs, and this is no exception.  It also is basically no better or worse than 80% of the movies people remember fondly from the 1980's, but for some reason, this thing has terrible reviews.  Probably because of the dance sequence and lack of visible boobs.  

It's fine.  I liked the light tone and the wistful approach taken to the romance storyline.  And that, basically, the townsfolk lose right up to the end, without even really knowing what's going on.  Also, it's free on YouTube and does nail the Halloween vibe.  A little spooky, a little horror-ish, a little silly, a little sexy... it's all in there.  Maybe not amazing, but it works.

Vax Watch: The Fall Guy - extended cut (2024)

Watched:  09/28/2024

Format:  Peacock

Viewing:  Second

Director:  David Leitch

Huh.

So, as Hannah Waddingham was in a thing, I watched The Fall Guy (2024) in the theater back this spring.  The movie was right in the middle of the curve for me.  It was funny-ish, had decent stunts - but was basically what I figured it might be.  It had a flimsy story to hang it all on.  I like Gosling, Blunt, Waddingham, Duke and Hsu.  I can give or take Aaron Taylor-Johnson (sorry, dude), but he's good in this!

On Friday at noon, I got my COVID-booster, and felt maybe a little funky on Friday night, and then fine most of Saturday - and then in the late afternoon the effects hit me like a ton of bricks.  Unable to take in new information as we headed into evening, I decided the only thing for it was to see some stunts and have some chuckles.  I put on the Extended Cut of The Fall Guy, now streaming on Peacock.  And - what do you know?  The movie was literally much better.  

It became pretty clear to me that the vibe director Leitch was going for had been cut down to smithereens in someone's drive to make this movie much shorter.  Suddenly, the plot of the movie felt like it gelled.  The characters aren't speaking in bullet points and a lot of the humor and meta-ness of the movie is restored.  Character-based gags make more sense, and because what was supposed to be there is there, things just work better.  We're not racing through the movie so we can get in another showing that day. Ie:  The pacing is, in my opinion, fixed.

In short - the theatrical cut was a hatchet job. and I cannot begin to guess how and why that happened the way it did.  

I don't know how often I'll put this movie back on, but it's a case-study in how editing impacts the intentions of a film.  Leitch clearly meant for people to really enjoy the goofy dialog, repeating gags, and character moments, and a lot of what gets restored is that stuff.  We still get the very cool "one shots" like the opening sequence with Gosling going from his trailer to the top of the elevator and falling (sorry for spoilers, but that's the first five minutes).  But what's going on with the plot really feels more solid this time - and I think we get some additional murders that weren't there in the theatrical.

Anyhow, if the movie wasn't for you the first time, sorry.  I don't think this will fix it.  I do think if you were kinda lukewarm on this, it turns it up a notch.  If you liked it (I did), huh.  You may like it more.

Raimi Watch: Darkman (1990)

Watched:  09/27/2024

Format:  Amazon Prime

Viewing:  Unknown

Director:  Sam Raimi

Darkman (1990) was released just days after I moved from Austin to North Houston.  I was 15.  I'd never heard of Sam Raimi or seen Evil Dead.  It was the end of the 1980's, when we had movie ratings, but nobody really cared about using them for keeping kids out - it was more of a promise of what a movie could contain.  R meant a chance for gore, violence and boobs.  Maybe a few F-bombs.  

Mostly, I was interested in what was sold as a superhero movie, of an all-new character who had an edge to him.  And then a very weird, very cool movie unspooled in front of me.  

Darkman was thus, I think, my introduction to Sam Raimi, Liam Neeson and Frances McDormand.*  My memory is that I thought the camera work and editing were insane, Neeson had fully thrown himself into the role - which seemed like a lot, and McDormand made for a great love interest as a brainier-than-average "the girl" role in one of these movies.   

Dame Maggie Smith Merges With The Infinite

Dame Maggie Smith, who was famous for so many reasons, all good!, has passed.  She was 89.

Smith managed the terrific feat of becoming more and more famous and iconic as she hit her later years, starring in international hits like Harry Potter and Downton Abbey.  But she also appeared in popular films like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel in the past 15 years, was in the mid-90's famed Richard III as the Duchess of York, in Hook as Granny Wendy and led the 1969 film The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie as the titular character.  

I saw her first in Clash of the Titans, because I was an 80's kid who liked monsters.  And I recall her in things later, like Gosford Park and A Room With a View, which is probably where my mind goes when I think of her.

She'll be missed, but, dang.  That's a legacy. 

Streaming Superhero Media This Week: Penguin, Agatha, ElectraWoman and DynaGirl

Last week, DC and Marvel sort of went head-to-head releasing two very different shows, but with some interesting similarities.  Meanwhile, Jamie was scrolling my Amazon account, and Amazon (correctly) alerted me that the 1976 Krofft Superstars show, ElectraWoman and DynaGirl is fully available - and in excellent condition.

DC's take was to put out a very adult-oriented mob-show about what seems to be the rise of Oswald Cobb(lepott), better known as The Penguin in Bat-circles.  It's the spin-off from the successful The Batman movie, in which famed handsome-man Colin Farrell put on 40 pounds of latex and a fatsuit to play a character very, very well, that some critics (Paul) have called out for being a role any character actor in LA could have nailed.  And maybe he's not wrong.  

It's a show that's a wild take that has nothing to do with the source material, uses the name of the character  with only minimal care for the comics, and is doing it's own thing while using the DC label.  I do not expect Dr. Fate to show up and help out.

90's Watch: Bowfinger (1999)

Watched:  09/21/2024

Format:  Max?  I don't know.

Viewing:  Third

Director:  Frank Oz

Selection:  Jamie

Two things to begin with:  (1) This movie doesn't get discussed enough.  It's really funny.  (2) I have zero idea why they didn't call this movie "Chubby Rain".  It's the funnier, better title.

There were a lot of movies about movie-making in the go-go 90's.  Indie filmmakers couldn't get enough of themselves in the 90's indie boom, and most of those movies were not good.  But at the end of the 1990's, Steve Martin and Frank Oz put together a genuinely funny movie about making movies and the people who scrape by at the bottom of the Hollywood machine of the day.  And while it's silly and I doubt has anything to do with reality, it's good stuff.

Bowfinger (1999) has a great cast, with Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy playing two roles, Terence Stamp, Heather Graham, Christine Baranski, Jamie Kennedy and a shockingly sober 1999 Robert Downey Jr.  I hope filming was as fun as it looks like it was, because it seems like everyone is just dicking around having a good time.  

Hamilton/ Ape Watch: King Kong Lives (1986)

Watched:  09/20/2024

Format:  Amazon

Viewing;  4th?

Director:  John Guillermin/ Charles McCracken

After watching Dante's Peak, I was wanting to see another Linda Hamilton film and talked Dug and K into watching King Kong Lives (1986), a move I am certain they regret.  

As a sort of low-level monster-kid of the 1980's, I was thrilled to get a chance to see a *new* King Kong movie, and so went to see the flick in the theater.  I loved the *idea* of King Kong, but had only seen pieces of the 1976 movie and none of the original.  But read a Kong book to two and had the basic idea down.  

And, this movie was part of my realization that not all movies are good.  Like, you go to the movies as a kid, and if you can follow the plot, it feels like a winner.*  But around this time, I was starting to understand not every movie is "good" or was made because it was a work of art.  And, right about the time I saw Kong and Lady Kong making goo-goo eyes at each other, I began realizing this movie was not destined to be the classic its predecessors had been.