Watch Party Watch: Man's Best Friend (1993)

Watched:  07/22/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Second

Director:  John Lafia

I saw this movie in the theater and was mostly curious about it because I had absolutely no memory of what happened in the film.  I was 18 and it was during my college winter break so I was home, so I'm pretty sure I was sober, but...  man.  Aside from one very iffy CGI shot, I had nothing.

The basic gist of the film is that the world's most negligent reporter decides to break and enter at a science-place where it turns out Lance Henriksen is doing gene-splicing to create "the ultimate guard dog".  Why?  No idea.  We're never told.  But Ally Sheedy accidentally earns some life-debt from "Max" the ultra-dog whom she spirits away (hint: never take an animal from a lab) and brings to her home.  

She lies to her live-in boyfriend about where she got the dog, and - as a reporter - if she airs any of what she's got on tape, she is absolutely going to jail.  That's B&E and larceny.  

Well, this is ostensibly a horror movie, so it turns out the dog isn't just murderous, he can climb walls or trees, swallow cats like a python and piss acid?  I remembered none of this.  But I did remember there's one shot where they do the Predator CGI shtick where he's kind of clear and then you can see him.

I'm not a *huge* fan of complaining about movies having tone problems*, but this movie has them.  It genuinely feels like a 90's kid's film at times, complete with the neigbor kid who acts like he's 45 and 13 at the same time and wears the neon colors you saw kids wearing in movies and TV in the 90's, but not in real life.  

There's kids telling fart stories that are irrelevant to anything, but then bearing witness to cat murder and simply running away lest they be implicated in the cat murder, which is probably the only honest thing in this movie.

What is impossible to determine from the film's various murders and wacky cops is whether this movie is kidding or not, or a comedy or not.  It's not funny, but you can tell someone decided this movie should be "fun", so we murder a mailman, etc..  And you have to wonder if Ally Sheedy's insane negligence and obliviousness were supposed to be funny.  Oh, also, there's the implication of dog-on-dog non-consensual sex.  Which... seems played for laughs?  Well, the mid-90's were a weird time.  

In an era of "content" and rapidly forgotten films, it's easy to forget that stuff like this was hitting cinemas on a regular basis.  We had studios like New Line - who released this movie - who were like "sci-fi killer dog?  And no one suspects?  So... like one of those trash 450 page horror novels you get at the airport?  GREEN LIGHT."  I mean, this is a $6 million movie.  There are about four sets, and the rest is spent on talent, which is kind of sweet, actually.  And they made a profit of some sort if Wikipedia is to be believed.

But, make no mistake - this movie is absolutely terrible.  

*it usually tells me more about a viewer's expectations of the way they think a movie is supposed to be versus what the movie is

Friday Watch Party: Man's Best Friend

This is a movie about having a dog, Ally Sheedy, Lance Henriksen and this newfangled thing called "CGI".  

Winter of 1993, I saw this in the theater.  It's basically competent, and has a doggy you can cheer for.

You may be saying to yourself "isn't this Short Circuit having a baby with a Dean Koontz novel?" and you'd be right.  It's the sort of low-grade non-horror that the late 80's and 90's kicked around a lot.  

It's a mid-low-budget thriller about a mutant dog!  Maybe a robot?  I can't remember.   And the Ally Sheedy who loves him.  What's not to like?

Day:  Friday - 07/22/2022

Time:  8:30 Central/ 6:30 Pacific

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Cost:  $3

link live 10 minutes before showtime

FRIDAY - CLICK HERE TO SEE A VERY GOOD BOY

Ida Watch: While the City Sleeps (1956)

Watched:  07/20/2022

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  4th?  5th?

Director:  Fritz Lang

I've written this movie up multiple times.  I really like it, and I like it more every time I watch it.  

It's a newsroom film from mid-Century America, with shades of noir - but the cast in this movie is unreal and worth checking out, and it's the last, great Fritz Lang film.  

Here's who you have in the film:

Dana Andrews, Vincent Price, George Sanders, Rhonda Fleming, Thomas Mitchell, John Drew Barrymore, Sally Forrest and...  Ida Lupino.

I mean, it's worth the price of admission just for the cast and director, but I dig the hell out of this movie. 

It's a workplace dramady, a hard-nosed newspaper/ media film, a suspense-thriller and absolutely an ensemble piece.  It moves at a newspaper movie clip, and you have to pay a bit of attention to keep up.  But if you do - the workplace drama is phenomenal, and while a fascinating look at "juvenile delinquency" as seen through the lens of the 1950's - complete with blaming *comic books* for driving a young man to murder.  

 If you're looking for how one keeps sex and shenanigans just off screen in a Hayes Code era movie, this one is a lulu.  And despite Rhonda Fleming performing calisthenics, Ida Lupino is the thing you'll keep your eyes on through the whole film. 

This was Jamie's first viewing, and she spoke up afterwards about how great Lupino's character and performance were as a nuanced character with her own agenda.  I'm in complete agreement.  Lupino takes what's on the page, which could have been words given to anyone, and absolutely elevates the role as smart, conniving, amoral and sexy as hell.

She also drinks champagne with a peach in it, and I need to look up what the actual hell is happening there.

Anyway - this is becoming one of my favorite films.  Just a good watch every time.

Cartoon Watch: Beavis & Butthead Do the Universe (2022)

Watched:  07/18/2022

Format:  Paramount+

Viewing:  First

Director:  John Rice, Albert Calleros

I remember watching fireworks on the 4th of July, 1993, and my dad threatening to smack me if I didn't stop muttering "huh huh!  fire.  FIRE!"  So it's a little weird that here, 30 years later, I'm still totally in for watching Beavis & Butthead Do the Universe (2022), which feels *exactly* like Beavis & Butthead of the 1990's.  And it's a reminder of the weird brilliance of the original concept, which used the idiocy of a very recognizable flavor of teen boy to comment on anything under the sun through boner jokes, one word responses and an inability to understand anything other than nachos, boobs, and things sucking or being cool.  

There's a dissertation out there in the wanting about how the show worked as meta-commentary, both in the discussion over videos and in sketches wherein everyone assumed the pair are following and understanding their agenda, but it simply will not process with our heroes.  I'm not sure the show is a prescription for living, but it is definitely saying something about us, what we watch, the world we've built and inhabit.  And that it's incredibly easy for morons to coast alongside us without us really noticing until they've fucked things up, and that does not make us geniuses.  

Also, it is a show about needing TP for one's bunghole.

Anyway - this installment picks up with Beavis and Butthead in high school in 1998 and manages to get them to space camp, then onto the space shuttle where things go south, through a wormhole into 2022.  Where they don't ever really notice they've passed through time, all in pursuit of the shuttle's captain with whom they believe they're going to score.  

Along the way, they go to college, they abuse Apple Pay, they consume nachos, and briefly go to prison.  

Highly recommended.

PodCast 204: "Evil Dead 2 - Dead By Dawn" (1987) - an Evil Dead PodCast w/ JAL and Ryan

Watched:  07/12/2022

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Sam Raimi

For more ways to listen

JAL and Ryan return to that cabin in the woods and take a listen to an old reel-to-reel sitting around. It's horror-comedy time with one of the finest, most creative and ground breaking films not just of the genre, but of film writ large. Join us as we talk the second installment in Raimi's trilogy and what the kids don't know.

SoundCloud 

The Signal Watch PodCast · 204: "Evil Dead 2 - Dead By Dawn" (1987) - an Evil Dead PodCast w/ JAL and Ryan

YouTube

Music:

Behemoth - Joseph LoDuca, Evil Dead II OST 

Hail He/ End Titles - Joseph LoDuca,  Evil Dead II OST 

Halloween and Horror

The Signal Watch PodCast · Halloween and Horror

Watch Party Watch: Futureworld (1976)

Behold - Paltrow's mom getting with a Robo-Brynner

Watched:  07/15/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Richard T. Heffron

When I was in maybe 8th grade, my brother and I rented the original Westworld, declared it "rad as hell" and pondered renting the 1976 follow-up Futureworld.  If a movie about robots going berserk in the old west was cool, wouldn't the follow up be even better - in a sci-fi playland?

Well, I remember us telling my dad we were going to rent Futureworld, and my dad saying "Sometimes sequels aren't as good as the original.  Like this one."  In retrospect, I realize this means sometime my dad had tried to watch Futureworld.  

For Houstonians, this movie provides an extra treat as a bunch of it was filmed around town.  Thrill to seeing the underground tram at G. Bush International!  Say "isn't that Jones Hall?" as the leads enter Delos.  Wonder where they are in the Johnson Space Center for great stretches of the film, and why NASA agreed to this shit!

Return to Smallville: Season 10 - Fumbling at the One Yard Line

Well, we watched a collection of episodes from the final season - and more episodes than in prior seasons.  It was really pretty solid until it wasn't.

Lazarus - Oliver is Lethal Weapon-tortured by Ted Whittall (as Rick Flagg)!  I love Ted Whittall.  He should be in everything.  This is the episode where Clark does not much, Tess realizes she's got a bank of Lex clones, and one of said Clones forces Lois to look smashing as she's almost burned to death in a corn field.  Chloe also swaps spots with Ollie and is quasi written off the show so Allison Mack can go join a cult.  And Clark is an absolute dope about Lois throwing herself at him.

Shield - Lois wastes time in "Egypt" hanging out with Carter Hall and admits she knows Clark is The Blur.  We get Cat Grant - whose whole job is to suck as a person.  And, we get an hilarious take on Deadshot as a cowboy who Oliver informs us no one can ever find, despite the fact he looks like he's in a rodeo everywhere he goes.  But, yeah, the whole "Suicide Squad" stuff starts here.  

Supergirl - Laura Vandervoort returns as Kara and is trying to distract the public from Clark by being the superhero everyone wants.  This plot makes almost no sense.  But the real story is that Lois decides to take down Glorious Godfrey by taking photos of him cavorting in a sex club, which is... not great and irrelevant, Lois. And, anyway, if you wanted to see this show react like an awkward 11 year old to non-romantic sex, this is the episode for you.  But Lois plays dress up again, and it's fun.  Oh, Glorious Godfrey is maybe possessed by Darkseid?  I can't tell.  He also gets a book written and published in 3 weeks, so Darkseid is efficient as hell.

Homecoming - Lois drags Clark to their high school reunion where Clark gets Christmas Carol'd by Brainiac 5.  We see that Lois looks... amazing with her hair up and all serious reporter-style.  Really, that's my takeaway, but Clark's realization is that he can rest assured that it will not just work out with Lois, but make them both better.

Isis - Lois dresses up as in Spirit Superstore Egyptian costume and gets possessed by the literal goddess Isis, which raises innumerable questions, but she's treated like a Freak o' the Week.

Ambush - Lois' much-discussed dad shows up with Lucy Lane in the form of Mad Men actor Peyton List.  I'd say this take on Major Lane is cartoonish and dumb, but I've seen and heard things in this life, and some people are truly psychotic when it comes to how they address their children's significant other.  It's... fine.  Michael Ironside gets a paycheck.  And Ted Whittall is America's hero by blowing up the Talon so we need never see it again.

Abandoned - A mixed bad of an episode.  Good:  Features the only live action appearance of The Female Furies I'm aware of, and has a curious take on Granny Goodness.  Bad:  it has no resolution.  Tess and Clark just leave, leaving the Female Furies, Kryptonite, Granny and a herd of orphans.  But lots of Tess.

Luthor - The Kryptonian Thermos makes Clark of Earth-1 swap places with Ultra-Man of Earth-2, and it's a surprisingly good episode.  Lionel returns, and Tess's heritage is outed.  

Icarus - the feds do what they should have done and try to shut down vigilantes in Metropolis.  It's a good episode, and shows the maturity the show is now capable of with adult characters and storylines that don't feel like someone's first, unconsidered draft.

Collateral - Chloe is Morpheus in the Matrix.  Somewhere along the way Chloe learned kung-fu and how to handle guns.  Pretty good paranoia and allegorical trust stuff.

Beacon - Martha shows up for a rally and is shot by Clone-Boy-Lex.  It's got a good chiller of an ending.

Masquerade - Chloe and Oliver get wrapped up in Desaad's murderous shenanigans.  Clark realizes he needs to wear glasses and be a nerd.

Fortune - yup. The Hangover rip off episode that is none the poorer for lifting so obviously while employing super-feats.  Maybe the one where everyone making it clearly had some fun.  

Booster - Booster Gold shows up and Blue Beetle is a bit of a wiener. 

Finale - An incomprehensible mess of a finale that feels like it was written by a drunk mongoose and shows Welling was going to just be an absolute dick about wearing the suit.  Mostly I'm confused and angered about the murder of Tess.  It is truly, truly some terrible television that the prior two years would lead to believe was going to be handled well and was an absolute disaster.

Friday Night Watch Party: Mae West (PIVOT - we're doing FUTUREWORLD)

 

Probably the first platinum blonde that crossed my young brain was Ann Jillian, even before I put a name to Marilyn Monroe.  Ann Jillian was absolutely one of the few TV stars whose name I learned in part because of curiosity, but she was pushed super hard at audiences for a couple of years before she stepped away from the spotlight.

Anyway, Mae West is a GREAT topic for a movie, and while I think Ann Jillian has 6 inches on West, sure... why not?  Also starring James Brolin, Piper Laurie, Roddy McDowall(!) and more!  

Let's engage in some 1980's TV movie goodness!  Complete with commercials!

Day:  Friday - July 15th
Time:  8:30 PM central

Format:  Amazon FreeVee

Cost:  $0 (but commercials)

link live 10 minutes prior to showtime

Click here to join me in saying "hey, Ann Jillian!  She's great!  We're watching 'Future World'"

Return to Smallville: Season 9 - Where the show takes some big swings

Just re-name the show, you dopes

So, Season 9 of Smallville, which has absolutely no business being called "Smallville" anymore as it takes place 88% in Metropolis, does feel quite a bit like when the show grew up to be the show they thought or wished they were making in Season 7.

It's not the best TV you'll see, but it feels like they finally got pieces in place, logistics and characterwise, that were less awkward and like they were keeping one foot in teen-soap.  It's gone full serious super-drama, and is en route to being Superman.

Episodes We Watched

Savior - Despite clear instructions that the Legion ring was set to send Doomsday to the 31st Century, Lois returns from the future which is 1 year from when she left (but she has no memory of this for some reason?).  Clark decides he needs to give up being human at the worst possible time when his best friend is in crisis, making Clark the world's least considerate friend and reminding us he's both dumb and self-centered AF.  We also meet our Zod of the season, who is absolutely acting to the back of the theater in every scene.

Metallo - A reminder that Brian Austin Green is actually a really solid actor and should have been a main actor/ villain on this show for a season.  He's better than the guy they got for Zod, and his character's arc seemed way, way, way cut short.

Kandor - Julian Sands arrives as "Young Jor-El Clone" to basically cause a lot of trouble for everyone involved.  This whole thing makes Jor-El seem like (even more of) an inconsistent boob.  Sands is good, but the episode feels like a swing and a miss, like they forgot the impact that we may have had if he and Clark spent any time together.

Pandora - This is the episode where we find out this universe has an off-the-shelf technology that will allow you to see into someone's memories with a stick 'em pad.  It's AMAZING and never mentioned or used again.  We also see Lois in the future, and Clark shares her memories of them boning, which means Clark experienced what it's like to be fucked by himself.  Which is how we should all be feeling by this point in the series' run.

Absolute Justice Parts 1 and 2 - Geoff Johns takes on writing chores and shoves in every single JSA trope he can, plus Stargirl, and everyone new to show is acting at an 11.  Like, really, really hamming it up in a way that feels weird and incongruous to the overall tone of the show.  It also introduces Pam Grier as Amanda Waller, head of Checkmate.  It's very clear the actor playing Dr. Fate does not know what to do with his hands while in costume.  The girl playing Stargirl should have joined the overall cast, though.

Warrior - A cursed comic book (we've all got a couple in our collection.  Mine was Lady Death #1, and thereby hangs a tale) enables a street kid to become a superhero and in no way is this a riff on Shazam.  Chloe absolutely tries to rawdog a 12 year old, while Clark is faced with the challenge of throwing over Zatanna who is bodily forcing herself on him in favor of Lois in a Spirit Halloween "Amazon Warrior Princess" costume.  Shut the fuck up, Clark.

Escape - On a show that keeps ratcheting up the horniness, Clark and Lois go to an out of the way inn so they may bone for the first time, I guess?  Meanwhile, Green Arrow and Chloe also go to same inn to bone.  It desperately wants to be a sex-farce episode but is distracted by the appearance of Silver Banshee, low-key one of my favorite villain designs.  Lois also appears in negligee.  No notes.  A+.

Checkmate - All I want to know is what the meetings were like with the interior design firm asked to outfit a castle for a supposedly super-secret clandestine government organization when they were like "make this motherfucker look like a chess board, and spare no expense."  All in all, this is a competently told story, and has bearing and weight that make sense.  I was not cracking wise to Jamie throughout.

Sacrifice - Tess invades the watchtower, trapping she and Chloe inside where things get very sweaty, but not in a Cinemax latenight way.  Really my take-way is that Chloe's capture system (a) does not employ the way-overengineered HVAC system of the Watchtower, but (b) we learn that Watchtower has the world's most expensive and unnecessary HVAC system and the controls are right there, as well as the nuclear freon or whatever.

Salvation - After not watching most of the Kryptonian episodes this season and trying to remember them from my prior viewing, I think I'm pretty right in assuming this storyline was dumb as it looks, that the guy playing Zod needed to take it down about 8 notches, and Kryptonians seem dumb as hell for an advanced race.  The few good bits are undercut with stuff like the main trickster villain saying out loud "Yes, I did the one thing everyone here would find unforgivable and abhorrent."  Also, the stupid pilfering of "The Book of Rao".  But the fight choreography was pretty solid.

Where the actual @#$% is Smallville?

Superman and Lois - Season 2 Round-Up

Let me just say, sometimes you need to let a show cruise along for a season and trust in what they're doing when you think maybe it's not going great.  I never felt Superman and Lois was off the rails this season, but I just wasn't always sure why they were doing what they were doing.  And maybe they did too much of some things, not enough of others, but the show felt *intentional* in ways that were satisfying, carrying overall themes, arcs for all the characters (except for Lana's younger daughter, who is an astounding after-thought) that reflect and refract the theme, and allegory mixing with the concrete.

The show seems very aware of the faults and issues with most CW superhero shows from Smallville through to today, and works overtime not to fall into some of those traps even when it sometimes can't avoid them.  It's not perfect - there's stuff I don't love, and things I wish they'd sort out, and choices they made this season which felt poorly considered.  

But they also chose to go big and swing for the fences with big-time superheroics that somehow aren't just spectacle but contain genuine, complex emotional beats.

SPOILERS, AHOY.