Sneaky Snake Watch: Anaconda (1998)

This is an infograph of how much you'll care about each character

Watched:  09/10/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Second or third

Decade:  1990's

Director:  Some guy

I dunno.  It's a movie about people heading up the Amazon to find a lost tribe who come upon a snake that is huge and doesn't act like a snake at all.  It has JLo and Ice Cube.  So, how bad can it be?

I saw this one opening week in the theater, and what really stuck with me over the years was that Jon Voight is in it, and it made me realize very famous actors can make hilariously bad choices.  And every instinct Voight has in this movie is... so bad it's good.  Paraguayan accent?  Check.  Constant scowl?  Absolutely.  

I am sure there's some conversation that occurred that said "well, Voight's character is the REAL anaconda!  He's the one who sneaks up on you and surprises you with the kill!"  But that's kind of dumb and not right.

9-11 Twenty Years On

It's been a while since I posted even an image to mention 9/11 on this blog.  

I was 26 when the planes flew into the World Trade Center and Pentagon and a plane fell in Pennsylvania, headed for somewhere else.  I saw online today that they now believe that plane was supposed to target the US Capitol.  As devastating as it was to see the towers fall and the footage of a plane slamming into the Pentagon, I can't imagine where we'd be had that plane headed into DC airspace, let alone reached its target.

At the exact time of the crash, Jamie and I were in a hotel room in Las Vegas.  She'd been laid-off, and I was still just figuring out a new job, and we were married for a year and a half. 

You can't really explain to young people, without sounding naive, that in the years before 9/11, the people on the news weren't always insane, and that they used to do actual, fact-based reporting.  Or that we knew our political systems was divided and a little broken, but we could agree on some list of fundamentals someone had to carry with them when they went to Washington on our behalf.  

It's hard to say that didn't fall with the towers.  

A lot of other things happened, then, too.  It wasn't just the endless cycling of footage of burning buildings and plumes of debris and ash filling New York's avenues.  

A Favor to Ask - Can You Read a Thing?

Hi.

I kind of figure the folks who follow this blog know me a little.  I've been doing this since 2003.  I've published something like 7400 posts between Signal Watch and League of Melbotis.  In there, there's been no small amount of writing and revealing of self.  

Since before 2003, on and off, I've noodled on a prose novel.  I'm in the last 1/4 of this thing, and can see the end on sight.  Which is exciting.  I can think about a second draft, I guess.

The ask:  Can you read as much of it as you stand?  And then send me whatever thoughts you have?  

You don't need to filter them - you can tell me whatever you like, even if it's "I hate it.  I hate everything about it."  That's fine.  It's not like, should this thing hit the light of day, someone won't say that online within 24 hours.

But feedback on confusing plot elements (and I am sure there are many), characters, motivations, scene and setting.  Any of it.  It's all feedback I can use.  Don't worry about punctuation and type-o's too much.  I always think people think I'm looking for a free copy-editor.  No, you're safe there.  

I'm looking at what works and doesn't work as a story or book.  

Friday Watch Party: Anaconda (1997)

In 1997, the Bros. Steans + Jamie were big fans of talking each other into going to see whatever goofiness was at Ye Olde Cineplex.  This movie fell squarely into the sort of thing we were constantly convincing ourselves we needed to see.

When someone said Ice Cube and Jon Voight are in a movie with a giant snake, you could sort of see a Ryan-shaped cloud where I once had sat as I sped myself to the movie theatre.  

And, yes, I was aware of Jennifer Lopez at the time, and I did not cry that she was in a lead role.

Anyway - it is a simple movie about a riverboat full of people and the giant snake which eats them.  That's it.  That's the plot.

Starring:  Jon Voight! J.Lo!  Eric Stoltz! Ice Cube! Owen "prefame" Wilson! Kari Wuhrer!  Danny Trejo!  and nerd favorite voice actor Frank Welker as the anaconda!  I'm not kidding!

Join us!

DAY:  Friday - September 10th

TIME:  8:30 Central/ 6:30 Pacific

FORMAT:  Amazon Watch Party

COST:  $4

LINK HERE TO WATCH

Brit Noir Watch: Cloudburst (1951)

Watched:  09/06/2021

Format:  Noir Alley on TCM on DVR

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1950's

Director:

There's trouble!  Right here in London City!

It's interesting that the French focused so hard on the American films they'd dub "film noir".  It's not like the British weren't making gloomy crime movies around the same time.  Night and the City, Brighton Rock and others point not just to the "noir movement" in England, but that the films made there weren't afraid to go incredibly dark.

Produced by Hammer (they did more than horror, kids), this one stars American Robert Preston as a Canadian in service to British Intelligence as a codebreaker still doing his work in the wake of WWII to help prosecute war criminals.  The film takes place just a year after the war, and Preston is married to a fellow intelligence officer whom he fell in love with during their time as POWs, where both were tortured.

They have a chance now at a happy, calm life, with a baby on the way, when - one night as they pause on a country roadside considering buying some property, Preston's wife is struck and killed by criminals escaping a murder.  

90's Watch: Without You I'm Nothing (1990)

Watched:  09/06/2021

Format:  TCM Underground

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1990's

Director:  John Boskovich

This is a weird watch in 2021.  I couldn't remember where Sandra Bernhard was on the cultural radar in 1990.  I certainly knew who she was as I was exiting high school in Spring of 1993, and thereby hangs a tale for another day, but in 1990?  Was she yet TV famous?  

I will say this - I do remember kind of adoring Sandra Bernhard in high school.  She was, like, a lot.  But for a late-80's/ early-90's context, she was candid and caustic and smart as hell, and there wasn't much of that on TV (and less so in real life).  And, she had some talent!

Wow Watch: Sorry To Bother You (2018)

Watched:  09/04/2021

Format:  Hulu

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2010's

Director:  Boots Riley

Man, I am not even going to try to summarize or reflect on this movie.

What I do know is that AmyC was going to make me podcast this, and it would have been one in a series of movies Amy woud have shown me that would have blown my mind and then she would have been, like, "hey - react!"  I love that she does this, but I think I always spend the first 5-15 minutes of those podcasts trying to get my thoughts in order.

Anyway - HIGHLY recommended.   You haven't seen anything like it.

Comics BioPic Watch: Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017)

Watched:  09/04/2021

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2010's

Director/ Writer:  Angela Robinson

Why do biopics exist?  

No, really.  Because I don't think producers really know.  

Taking someone else's life and presenting it to the populace in order to tell a story that you want to tell, when you can't be bothered with reality or facts, is a tremendous disservice to the people you're speaking for.  It also means that whatever story you're telling - the point of it, whatever that might be - is now hopelessly compromised the moment someone googles the subject of your film.  Whatever homily you hoped to make of a life isn't going to survive first contact with anyone wondering why the hell you changed so many things.  The hubris, man.

Look, I am not a William Moulton Marston scholar.  I've read possibly three or four books about the history of Wonder Woman over the past 25 years, and I've done my fair share of reading of articles on and offline on same, and therefore touched upon the people at the center of Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017).  

Screwball Magic Comedy Watch: I Married a Witch (1942)

Watched:  09/02/2021

Format:  TCM on DVR

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1940's

Director:  Rene Clair

Uh, look.  I know this movie is well regarded, but it wasn't my cup of tea.  It had some great ideas, some terrific effects for the era (and during WWII, no less).  And, let's be honest, I'd watch Veronica Lake do her taxes.

But it never hit me as funny, somehow.  Which seems like a good thing for a comedy to do.  It felt like it should have starred William Powell, and the pacing should have been different.  But the co-stars have no chemistry, and I think I turned it off 3 times before I finished it.

So.  A good one for other people, but.  Not so much me, which I was a bit sad about.  I know people love this.

Signal Watch in October: Friday Watch Parties Classic Horror Film Fest

SCHEDULE

8:30 PM Central/ 6:30 Pacific for all shows!

October 1 -   Dracula (1931)

October  8 -  Frankenstein (1932)

October 15 - Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

October 22 - The Wolfman (1941)

October 29 - Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

This year, every Friday in October we'll watch a Halloween film and make it an Amazon Watch Party (pending unforeseen scheduling conflicts).  

But we're not going to go for the usual schlocky faire as we scour the bottom of the Amazon Prime "free to me" barrel.  We're going to watch a handful of films that you will have heard about and maybe seen once or twice, but make for excellent Halloween Classics.  

It will set you back the cost of the rental or purchase, but, hey, these will be movies you should probably see, anyway.

Your host will be that wiley creature of the night, Count Dracula Jr., whom Jamie LOVES.  Yes she does.

Unrelated:  Horror podcast episodes!

The Universal Monsters Hallow-Scream Watch Party series is meant to be a casual good-time as we check out the run of horror movies that started with Dracula and have become staples of culture the world over!  Everyone knows what these monsters look and act like, but it's probable most people haven't ever actually seen the movies they're in!  So, come watch!  

Starting just two years after the silent era, these movies quickly became the blockbusters of their day, bringing strange ideas most people hadn't considered, wild visuals, and complicated creatures to the screen.  And, ever since, studios have been looking to recapture this particular lightning in a bottle.

We think you'll enjoy watching along and checking out the creepfest that is Universal Horror!