As the lights came up, I turned and looked at my movie companion and heard myself say "that was the worst movie I've seen since Battlefield Earth". But, that was unfair. It's the worst movie I've seen since 1998's Godzilla, but the issues with the movie are maybe more akin to Battlefield Earth.
Now, I don't say that lightly, and I obviously don't include "bad movie" fodder like The Room, Birdemic and other grasp-longer-than-reach independent efforts. Rather, there's a special place in movie-going hell reserved for huge blockbuster movies with gigantic budgets for production and marketing that have been corporate committee'd to death.
I didn't show up at Suicide Squad wanting to dislike it. I'm a grown-assed adult, and if I don't want to see a movie, I won't. Heck, I could have skipped the movie with a refund before it rolled (and I thought about it after seeing the reviews). The movie was sold out and people would take the seats. I could have had a nice beer on the porch at the theater.
I am, of course, not a DC "hater" and am more than happy to discuss DC comics, associated media and lore at length. In short, don't make me embarrass you, kid, when you come at me to explain the movie.
For decades I've read DC comics, watched TV shows - good and bad - read non-fiction histories of the characters and industries. And, in this era I just want for DC to make a movie that isn't a trainwreck, and - while I've not seen BvS - that doesn't seem to be happening.
I have no doubt the folks who've already branded themselves as DC movie fans (and as carriers of true fandom for these characters) will like the movie as it follows a certain line of thinking that has so far appealed to that audience and basic issues with story and structure didn't deter them with Man of Steel, and from what I've heard about BvS, even more so. It is in no way short of wanting to be hip and edgy like an Ed Hardy shirt or vape booth at the mall.
It's a movie that does not know the rule of "show, don't tell" - it doesn't trust the audience to follow a story, delivering character and action in literal bullet points. Mostly, though, the film is presented in such a way that the errors and issues were so large and as consistent as gunfire throughout the movie, that it's impossible to stay with the movie rather than just cataloging the issues as they pop up, one after another.
At almost every single thing this movie attempts, it misses in big and small ways, with the unsurprising exception of the Will Smith as Deadshot storyline (Big Willie carries too much clout in Hollywood to not come out of this still intact, and the charm I'd nearly forgotten the man has on screen fills in a lot of gaps that the movie leaves there for virtually every other character). Whether it's the much derided musical accompaniment, the nonsensical story bits left in place after the editors were done, the odd choice of villain and scope of the mission, or why everything in the movie felt like it needed to be doodled upon from the frame of the film to Margot Robbie's face to Will Smith's collar.
This movie is a @#$%ing mess. And, no, it's not even really a "fun" or "enjoyable" mess at that. Maybe "a distracting two hours where you'll ask yourself a lot of questions about why they made a lot of decisions the way they did." That kind of mess.