I should of stuck with that job

A long time ago, some colleagues at my current job and I were chatting, and I was describing the most troubling part of the job I'd had when I worked at the Disney Store during the summers of 1993-1995.

"And so we had this thing at the back of the store, it was called 'Plush Mountain', and it was this pile of stuffed animals.  Brand new stuffed animals, all brightly colored, all these familiar Disney characters piled up way higher than any kid could see.  And these kids, they'd see it from way, way back in the store from between the racks of toys and coffee cups.  We had these high pillars filled with all kinds of Disney stuff.   It was too much.  It would just overload their little kid brains to see this amazing pile of Disney.

"So the kids would see it, and they'd start running at the mountain from half-way through the store, just barreling at full-tilt, ready to fling themselves into Plush Mountain.

"What these kids didn't know, and what their parents didn't know, I guess...  was that the only way you can have a mountain like that is to have these shelves built in.  It looks like a pile, but its this tiered thing, with these hard, wooden shelves built in in there, covered with laminate or something.  If any kid actually ever made the leap, and was able to jump in there headfirst, you know, the way they were trying, they'd have smashed their little faces in.

"So every Saturday, when the store was really busy, I'd get stationed at the back of the store.  And, yeah, you're helping people find stuff, but what you're really doing all day is catching these kids before they throw themselves face first into this mountain of stuffed animals, and that's just going to end badly.  All day, just kid after kid, you see them start running, and you're grabbing them.  Some of them, I kid you not, in mid-air.  Stopping some of them by the seat of their pants.  That's all you'd do all day."

My co-worker looked at me, and I could tell he had something to say:  "You were The Catcher in the Rye".

We kind of eyed each other for a minute and burst out laughing really, really hard.

"Jesus, I should of stuck with that job."

Nobody else at the table got it.

History of the Batmobile

This has been making the rounds a bit, and a couple of you have chucked it my way (thanks for that, btw, PaulT and MattA!).

I've said before and I'll say it again:  As much as I'm a fan of Batman and his cast of characters, I'm a fan of the very loose concept of the Batmobile.

"yeah, just a minute.  I think this guy wants his phone back..."

Anyway, for those of you who know the Batmobile from the old TV show or movies, in the comics, every artist who comes onboard wants to add their bit to Batlore, and generally the editors seem to be willing to let artists cook up new looks for the Batmobile to build on previous looks, tie in with existing, recent model cars, etc...

Anyhow, here's an absolutely stunning graphic I think you guys might enjoy.  

Click below for website that will launch you to the full image.


see more Funny Graphs

I Kind of Hate this Idea - High School Batman

iO9 posted concept art from a never-developed cartoon idea about "what if Gotham was a high school, and all the villains just people in a high school?  And Bruce the dreamy, broody guy?"

Lately, pretty much any alternate version of any familiar comic property dreamt up on DeviantArt gets big props from the online comics community, and I'm not surprised that a show that hits as many notes of popular generic media spliced with something as popular as Batman is getting oohs and aahs. 

this is funny for as long as it takes for you to figure who is what dumb TV high school stereotype

I LOVE Batman stuff that's for kids, so that's not what I think I dislike.  So much of the high school stuff in comics (and there's a ton of it) feels more like an idea of high school that came from watching movies than from people who went to high school.  And/ or adults working out issues because they didn't feel cool enough in high school.  And there's so dang much of it.

I dunno.  It just seems kind of like trying to make Batman work in Mean Girls, and if you're going to do that, why not make it Batman in day care.  Or Batman in the old folks home.  Or Batman in the office.

But I also know: there's going to be a large fanbase that feels that DC totally missed the boat by not doing this. I semi-respectfully disagree.

I don't know exactly why I'm not crazy about this.  If anyone wants to speculate, we have a comments section.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm glad that DC went with The Brave and the Bold, instead.  And not just because B: B&B has a rocking theme song.

The Frontier is Everywhere

This is not official NASA work. This is a NASA fan film.

And it encapsulates exactly why I believe in a space program by the people and for the people.

iPhone comes to Verizon

It looks like iPhone is finally coming to Verizon in February. I am not one who cares all that much as I haven't drunk the Kool-Aid on Apple product, but it's nice to have the option. Its time for my upgrade, and I am well aware that the iPhone has a lot more apps, etc...

Really, part of me wants to get an Android just so I can give that blank look to Apple-Zombies when they start insisting I've made the wrong choice. I confess, that look of anxiety and consternation I get in reply is just really gratifying.

Verizon's announcement page.

Action Comics #900 (900!) Variant Cover by Alex Ross

complete with "guy freaking out in the corner".

If you've been to my living room, you'll have seen prints by Alex Ross up on the walls and a framed copy of Superman #680 by the door.  I'm a fan of Mr. Ross' work.

While I enjoy the heck out of retold versions of the Superman story, there's something kind of astounding about Superman's appearance in Action Comics #1.  In 1938, some gangsters are kidnapping a reporter, driving crazy, basically just to throw their weight around, and suddenly their car is stopped by a man.  Stopped.  By.  A.  Man.

He tosses the car around, bullets do no harm, and he quickly dispatches the crooks and gently reassures the shaken reporter.

Its the sort of thing that puts the world on notice: from now on, everything is going to be different.

The reporter, of course, is Lois Lane: utterly fearless and already in trouble because she told a mob boss to take a hike when he made "romantic" overtures (she, of course, has no idea a Superman exists and would pull her fat out of the fire when she's getting in the mob boss's grill).

One of the things the comics have forgotten how to do is remind the reader of the wonder of a Man of Steel.  If the story is told from the perspective of Superman, then we forget that what's happening here is being told because its so unique and crazy in our world (there's a whole argument for why Clark Kent is important to Superman that fits in there).  And one of the things I like about the work of Ross is that his style puts these things into a context of a world where you can see how the world would be effected.  Ehen he drops his superheroes into the middle of a Rockwell-eqsue watercolor of the world, we can understand just what sort of feeling it would be to see a Superman chuck a sedan fifty feet into the air.

Provided our gunman isn't insane, we know he's doing some quick algebra in his head, because he's seeing something new and immense and serious and it is coming right for him (and killing that guy... its just going to provoke this thing all the more).

The phrase "adolescent power fantasy" gets thrown around a lot.  And that's fine.  Whatever gets people through the night.  It was the vision of two teenagers imagining a world in which a person has the power to not be cowed by the guns or brute force of those who would do harm to others, no matter their number, that gave way to Superman.  And the American ideal of the super-hero.  And I like the idea that if when we're blessed with the ability to help, we do so.

Also, I just like seeing Superman chuck a car and the guy freaking out in the corner.

Action Comics #900 is an amazing milestone.  900 issues since 1938.  The comic should arrive in April or early May with, I'd guess, a few options for covers. 

Go Ducks!

I am rooting for the Oregon Ducks in the 2010-2011 BCS  Championship Game.  That's just how I roll.

That two-point conversion was just kind of awesome, btw.

Just wanted to make that clear here before the end of the game.

For historical purposes, when I'm looking back at posts, they were playing Auburn, about which I have no particular feelings, positive or negative.

post game edit:   You can't say Oregon didn't give Auburn a good game or that they didn't have a great season.  Way to go, Ducks! 

Back from Sub-Diego - I read a lot

In the Aquaman comics from around 2004, the waterfront of San Diego was somehow cleaved from the shoreline and plunged into the ocean.  The populace that survived the incident were turned into water-breathing folks, like Aquaman's peeps, the Atlanteans.  Aquaman came to the rescue, and became the hero of Sub-Diego (get it?).

Unfortunately, the writers on the book took way too long to explain what the heck had happened and why, and what started off as a great story idea fizzled, was canceled and subducted into continuity oblivion by 2006's Infinite Crisis event (which also killed Aquaman and led to the very confusing and not all that interesting follow up with Aqua-Knight/ Fake Aquaman/ Who Approved This?).

Anyway, that's what I think of when I stand near the water in San Diego.  Also: oh, look, a sea gull.

I do not have the romantic attachment to San Diego that folks in Arizona had.  It was where everybody went the minute they had a day off.  There's no real equivalent for Texans, who hold their own beaches in semi-contempt, and who generally look down their nose at each others' cities (sorry, Amarillo).  And there certainly anything in Texas that looks like San Diego, although you can certainly see certain architectural similarities between the all-recent construction in San Diego and the more recent sky-riser condos here in town.  They all have that "this is shiny and looks like it was deigned on a computer!" feel to the architecture that I suspect we'll find regrettable in another 20 years or so.

That said, I do not dislike San Diego.  Its nifty.  Its clean and pretty.  It has a lot to offer and it looks expensive as @#$% to live there.

Anyway, I presented at a conference on Saturday, and I guess it went well.  Aside from that, there wasn't much to do.  I kind of walked around, but wasn't feeling very touristy.  So I wound up watching the Texas A&M game, read two graphic novels and the better part of two books.

I read the first volume of DC's Brightest Day, and kept thinking "I shouldn't be enjoying this".  Its kind of silly, it manages to set up a whole bunch of plot in a clumsy fashion and introduces ideas that I'm not sure I care all that much about, but...  I actually liked it quite a bit.  I'm a big Martian Manhunter fan from way back, I like how Johns handles Hawkman and Hawkwoman and their convoluted history, etc...  And I try to read anything with the Jason Rusch version of Firestorm (which I never thought got a fair shake when DC tried so hard with that series about 6 years ago).

Aside from that first shot at what looked like a neat run on Aquaman (see above), I've not been a huge fan of the comic or character.  I just never found a hook.  But I kind of like what Johns and Tomasi seem to be doing with the King of the Seas.  Sure, its not as straight up FUN as the Brave and the Bold version, but please, somebody at DC get Aquaman figured out.  And none of this magical water-hand or hook-hand hoo-ha.  Just...  Aquaman.  And that's what this first volume of Brightest Day seems to be offering up (and I like Mera, who has usually stood around like vermicelli more than a character)

And like most Johns and Tomasi stuff, it seems like its actually going somewhere, which is not what I'd necessarily say about a lot of series.  Sure, its a little aggravating that the White Ring won't just lay out its plans, and instead is being all elliptical and messing with Boston Brand and whatnot, but...  you kind of get the feeling that it'll be worth the payoff.

I am not reading every single tie-in.  I'll read stuff I'm already reading, but DC is not going to be able to convince me that buying Titans is a good idea.  And as little heat as its generating, I don't see me reading JLA: Generation Lost, either (because, man...  I was kind of done with Maxwell Lord as soon as Diana enabled him to see where he'd been, if you get my drift).

If the creative team on Wonder Woman can get Diana squared away (and that seems increasingly possible), this is the first time in  25 years I can think of that the Original 7 of the JLA have been able to walk into a room and look one another in the face (just when Barry shows up, J'onn and Bruce got taken out).  There's just so much potential there, and its potential I think DC squandered multiple times over the years - most recently by demonstrating that they didn't understand what Meltzer was doing with the JLA either strategically within the DCU or from a character standpoint.

In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to a DCU that seems geared toward trying, if even for a short while, to have the most recognizable versions of their properties in one place at the same time.  Sure, change is the thing that makes the world go round, but it would be nice to see the main continuity find a way to work in an epic age for itself where the characters were the idealized versions of themselves, just for a while.

No secret, I love the DCU, and I always will.  But I also no longer feel like I need to buy everything DC puts out there.  When you don't see editorial working to make sure their properties the best they can be, I don't feel the urge as a reader or consumer to participate.  Somehow Johns (and Tomasi, increasingly) almost always makes me feel like I am getting somebody's best effort, and the effort of someone who cares more deeply about doing right by the characters than putting his stamp on that character.  That stamping part just comes naturally, in a way that I think you could almost say reminds me of how the stable of 70's and 80's-era DC writers made it work.  I'm thinking of guys like Paul Kupperberg, Elliot S! Maggin, Cary Bates, and even Marv Wolfman.  Only, you know, its Johns, so you tend to see a lot more disembowelings (Mr. Johns will one day learn that you don't need to actually show the disembowelings, you can just mention that they happened). 

I also read a Greatest Batgirl Stories Ever Told collection, and it was really, really fun.   Some of its a bit dated, some of it isn't.  Aside from the original origin story, everything in it was new to me (bot not necessarily news to me), so I finally got to read the story of how Babs got sent to Washington to hold elected office.*

Also reading a good chunk of a collection called Lone Star Noir, which is a collection of crime stories written about various locales here in Texas.  I admit I jumped ahead and read the Austin section.  The stories are, admittedly, hit-or-miss, but its interesting reading.

And I'm plowing through book 4 of the Parker Novels by Richard Stark (aka: Donald Westlake), The Mourner.  It's tough to know what to say about it other than: that is most definitely a Parker novel. Dude likes to hit people with guns.

But I'm back!  And now it slate and I should probably just go to bed.

*a bit odd reading that on the day Rep. Gloria Giffords of Tucson was shot, I confess

The Statesman's Own Perry White

My hometown paper is, was and always will be The Austin American-Statesman.  Its called The Statesman in town, and, aside from the masthead, rarely will you hear anyone call it by its full name.  I grew up reading The Statesman, and to the annoyance of some roommates, even during college I often had a subscription.  And when I didn't, I picked it up off the rack at the grocery or corner store. 

Trends change.  These days I only get the weekend/ holiday edition.  Facts are facts.  I read my news online.  Heck, I read the above the fold stories on my BlackBerry walking in from the parking garage some days.  But I do read The Statesman.com almost every day.  And they've gotten very good at social media and finding you where you are already, be it email, Twitter, etc...

Certainly Austin is not alone in civic pride, or finding success for news outlets that have realized that the changes in news delivery due to the power of the internet mean a local focus can be quite powerful.  The past few years The Statesman has really embraced those ideals.  But I only thought about that as a consumer of news.  I never thought about who was making those decisions, or what was happening in the newsroom.

It seems that a lot of that effort has been thanks to Michael Vivio, the publisher who has been at the helm of The Statesman the past few years.  I suggest reading Vivio's good-bye column at Statesman.com.  Well, Vivio now has a fan for life.  In his column, he says:

A lesson learned: Countless times during the last two and a half years, I have reminded our people that Superman was a reporter as a way to focus thought on the value of our mission. It may seem like a trivial comparison, but the point I try to make is that the same motivation that powered Superman — the pursuit of truth, justice and the American way — is the very reason why we must find a way to survive in this changing media world. It motivated us to succeed because what we do matters.

During my tenure, we exposed corruption, sought truth from politicians and protected the public from faulty products. Along the way, we hopefully entertained people and made them think.
I am proud that the employees of this newspaper stayed focused on that mission during my tenure. And I know they will not lose that focus when I am gone.

 A regular Perry White, this guy.  Only, you know, without reporters turning in stories about how a magical artifact turned them into a 50-story Turtle Man.

I'm Going to California for the weekend.

I'm leaving on a plane tomorrow and going to San Diego for a few days for work.

This means I will be in contact in only spotty bursts and may or may not post or answer questions or respond to comments or whatever.

really looking forward to watching the News 4 team