Watch Party Watch: Death Spa (1987)

Watched:  08/05/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  First!

Director:  Michael Fischa

So, I mistook this movie for something else I'd watched not too long ago, Killer Workout - the other 1987 movie about a string of murders occurring within an LA health club.  And, I assure you, this would be the best possible double-bill one could program, and one day I will make that happen.  The movies are similar to a point - but this one has a budget and actors you've seen before.  And a *lot* more shenanigans, but with fewer curiously placed yard-phones.

Anyway, I spent the first fifteen minutes of the movie utterly confused as this was *not* the same movie I'd watched, but due to the aesthetics of a 1980's LA gym, film grain of the 1980's all looking pretty similar circa 1987, and my face-blindness, I thought I'd stumbled onto a different cut of the same movie.  But it's not.  It's wildly different.

Is it better?  I mean - yes.  This one doesn't feel like guerilla film-making, and it has te budget to deliver on the things you were expecting in Killer Workout but didn't really get.  Namely, gory FX and a bounty of bewbs - just kinda strewn about in that 1980's way that says "look what we got to do.  Let's go enjoy some cocaine."

The plot is an insane mix of future-shock computer stuff that never really plays out, possession of humans AND computers, Dressed to Kill,  Psycho, Carrie and many things I am sure I missed.  Anyway, I was kinda blue I'd picked the wrong movie at first - but at this point I now stan Death Spa.  The back half of this movie is absolutely bonkers and you realize the first half just exists to lull you into a false sense of security that you know what this movie is.  And you do not.  

Somehow casting but not really starring one of the guys from Dawn of the Dead, Kirk's son David from Wrath of Khan, and the woman who played Teela in Masters of the Universe, it's got a "that guy!" vibe I particularly enjoyed.  I don't know who the actual leads are, and was frankly confused who some of the women in the film were supposed to be or what their relationship was to anything - but that's 1980's filmmaking for you.  It's about MEN.  In JACKETS.  Who PUSH UP THEIR JACKET SLEEVES.

There's also some amazing sound design where they do not care that planes are flying overhead and birds are furiously chirping.  I always like it when its clear they couldn't afford a re-record session and the real world invades your killer computer ghost movie.  

OH.  And there's a parapsychologist.  And a kinda sexy lady who is blinded by chlorine?  And the guy lives in a house seemingly designed by MC Escher and that's where he puts her, and despite her recent hospital stay he keeps changing her into very formal clothes and then 9 1/2 Weeks-ing her with asparagus, the sexiest vegetable.

Anyway, watch this movie.  Ten thumbs up.

Watch Party Watch: Man's Best Friend (1993)

Watched:  07/22/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Second

Director:  John Lafia

I saw this movie in the theater and was mostly curious about it because I had absolutely no memory of what happened in the film.  I was 18 and it was during my college winter break so I was home, so I'm pretty sure I was sober, but...  man.  Aside from one very iffy CGI shot, I had nothing.

The basic gist of the film is that the world's most negligent reporter decides to break and enter at a science-place where it turns out Lance Henriksen is doing gene-splicing to create "the ultimate guard dog".  Why?  No idea.  We're never told.  But Ally Sheedy accidentally earns some life-debt from "Max" the ultra-dog whom she spirits away (hint: never take an animal from a lab) and brings to her home.  

She lies to her live-in boyfriend about where she got the dog, and - as a reporter - if she airs any of what she's got on tape, she is absolutely going to jail.  That's B&E and larceny.  

Well, this is ostensibly a horror movie, so it turns out the dog isn't just murderous, he can climb walls or trees, swallow cats like a python and piss acid?  I remembered none of this.  But I did remember there's one shot where they do the Predator CGI shtick where he's kind of clear and then you can see him.

I'm not a *huge* fan of complaining about movies having tone problems*, but this movie has them.  It genuinely feels like a 90's kid's film at times, complete with the neigbor kid who acts like he's 45 and 13 at the same time and wears the neon colors you saw kids wearing in movies and TV in the 90's, but not in real life.  

There's kids telling fart stories that are irrelevant to anything, but then bearing witness to cat murder and simply running away lest they be implicated in the cat murder, which is probably the only honest thing in this movie.

What is impossible to determine from the film's various murders and wacky cops is whether this movie is kidding or not, or a comedy or not.  It's not funny, but you can tell someone decided this movie should be "fun", so we murder a mailman, etc..  And you have to wonder if Ally Sheedy's insane negligence and obliviousness were supposed to be funny.  Oh, also, there's the implication of dog-on-dog non-consensual sex.  Which... seems played for laughs?  Well, the mid-90's were a weird time.  

In an era of "content" and rapidly forgotten films, it's easy to forget that stuff like this was hitting cinemas on a regular basis.  We had studios like New Line - who released this movie - who were like "sci-fi killer dog?  And no one suspects?  So... like one of those trash 450 page horror novels you get at the airport?  GREEN LIGHT."  I mean, this is a $6 million movie.  There are about four sets, and the rest is spent on talent, which is kind of sweet, actually.  And they made a profit of some sort if Wikipedia is to be believed.

But, make no mistake - this movie is absolutely terrible.  

*it usually tells me more about a viewer's expectations of the way they think a movie is supposed to be versus what the movie is

PodCast 204: "Evil Dead 2 - Dead By Dawn" (1987) - an Evil Dead PodCast w/ JAL and Ryan

Watched:  07/12/2022

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Sam Raimi

For more ways to listen

JAL and Ryan return to that cabin in the woods and take a listen to an old reel-to-reel sitting around. It's horror-comedy time with one of the finest, most creative and ground breaking films not just of the genre, but of film writ large. Join us as we talk the second installment in Raimi's trilogy and what the kids don't know.

SoundCloud 

The Signal Watch PodCast · 204: "Evil Dead 2 - Dead By Dawn" (1987) - an Evil Dead PodCast w/ JAL and Ryan

YouTube

Music:

Behemoth - Joseph LoDuca, Evil Dead II OST 

Hail He/ End Titles - Joseph LoDuca,  Evil Dead II OST 

Halloween and Horror

The Signal Watch PodCast · Halloween and Horror

PodCast 197: "The Medusa Touch" (1978) - A SimonUK Cinema Classic w/ Ryan

Watched:  04/25/2022

Format:  Amazon Prime

Viewing: First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Jack Gold

For more ways to listen

It wouldn't be the first time we used our minds around here and it led to disaster. SimonUK and Ryan get excited about Richard Burton and Lee Remick, respectively, and get on the case of the victim of an attempted murder, who maybe - just maybe - is the source of all sorts of trouble. Join us as we talk an entry in ESP horror paired with police procedural.

SoundCloud 

The Signal Watch PodCast · 197: "The Medusa Touch" (1978) - A SimonUK Cinema Classic w/ Ryan

YouTube

Music:

The Medusa Touch - Michael J. Lewis 

Simon movies!

The Signal Watch PodCast · SimonUK Cinema Series

Hammer Watch: Brides of Dracula (1960)

Watched:  04/11/2022

Format:  BluRay!

Viewing:  Second? 

Decade:  1960's

Director:  Terence Fisher 

It's my b-day tomorrow, and for my b-day, Dug and K sent me a couple of Hammer blurays I'd not picked up, and... I'm very excited.  Lots of extra features and whatnot and excellent picture quality. 

I wrote this one up in late 2020, so I'm not inclined to say a ton more.   I suppose this time it really struck me how much this movie seems to play with the idea of gothic romance novels, of the young woman entering a castle and uncovering a mystery - but in this case rather than a wrongly imprisoned prince or lord, she accidentally frees a Dracula.  It's kind of clever.

This is also a movie where we see Van Helsing continue on his arc as a bad-ass, fist-fighting Draculas and applying his anti-vampirism plan to himself.  It's crazy.  

I will also continue to contend that Andree Melly was very cute as a vampire.

PodCast 189: "The Evil Dead" (1981) - a Horror Canon episode w/ JAL and Ryan

Watched:  03/13/2022

Format:  HBOMax+

Viewing: Unknown

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Sam Raimi

For more ways to listen

JAL returns to the PodCast to talk about a movie series that helped cement a friendship! Join us as we ponder the crazy early vision of a master of movie making, getting good results out of annoying everyone around you, and what you can do on a shoestring budget that can still provide genuine scares and have a bloody good time.

SoundCloud 

The Signal Watch PodCast · 189: "The Evil Dead" (1981) - a Horror Canon episode w/ JAL and Ryan

YouTube

Music:

Introduction - Joseph LoDuca, The Evil Dead OST

Dawn of the Evil Dead - Joseph LoDuca, The Evil Dead OST

Horror Podcasts!

The Signal Watch PodCast · Halloween and Horror

St. Patrick's Day Watch: Leprechaun (1993)

Watched:  03/11/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Who knows and who cares

I watched Leprechaun the first time at a party during what I think was Christmas break 1993.  I don't really remember much about it except for that the Leprechaun was a vicious dick and it featured Jennifer Aniston before I knew who she was.  

It follows the same pattern as a lot of horror from that era, and this era.  People are in a country house of some kind, and a dangerous force attacks.  The house actually looks quite a bit like the house from Critters or five dozen other movies of the era.  In this case, an Irish immigrant has returned home from a funeral and brought with him a bag of gold he stole from a leprechaun (Warwick Davis).  Now in the Western United States, he rightfully assumes he's safe from a magical being an ocean away.  

He's not, but he traps the leprechaun in a box for a decade until Jennifer Aniston and her dad show up to rent the house.  The movie also features a "hunky guy" house painter for Aniston to latch onto, his kid brother and the guy who stole Pee-Wee Herman's bike playing a moron.  

A bit about the thing with Mark Holton's moron...  

Christmas Day Night Watch: House/ Hausu (1977)

Watched:  12/25/2021

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  Second

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Nobuhiko Obayashi

K was visiting for Christmas and she's wanted to watch this movie forever, so we did.  Least Christmassy programming possible, but it's a fun movie.

Holiday Horror Watch: Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

Watched:  12/5/2021

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2020's

Director:  Jim Cummings

I'm going to have to check out Jim Cummings' other stuff, because he's apparently his own one-man force within the film industry.  I recognize him, but not as a lead - but he wrote, directed and starred in Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020), which is something people really don't do anymore.  That era of auteurism has kind of gone the way of the dodo.

Released under the revived Orion films banner (and, my god, was it good to see that logo spin out in front of a movie again) - it's also nice to see genre indie distributors out there trying for something a bit different, and this film is a reminder of the positive results you can get from a single person with their hands on the wheel of a movie.  Because Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020) is arguably about a small-town cop relentlessly chasing down a killer werewolf despite the fact that is absolutely the plot of the film.  And this is where people might mistakenly say "it's good for a horror film" - but we don't say that at this blog.  

I think sometimes why reviewers might make that statement is that they want something more out of their movie than a monster murdering people and eventually being killed in return.  I mean, *fair enough*.  

Holiday Horror Watch: Black Christmas (1974)

Watched:  12/5/2021

Format:  Peacock!  

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Bob Clark

I kind of start and stop my interest in slasher films with the Halloween films.  But ever since I found out Bob Clark, the guy who directed A Christmas Story, also directed one of the landmark Christmas-Horror films, I've wanted to see Black Christmas (1974).  Add in a pre-superstardom Margot Kidder, and it's a sell!  But the movie had been a little hard to find in the past - until recent shifts in how the streamers work seems to have fixed that.  

Anyway, it's now a whole lotta places, but I watched it on Peacock of all locations.  I know!  But if you watch like 2 minutes of commercials, uncut movie!  (edit:  I hit "publish" on this post, went to my email to read the Criterion Current email, and I guess Black Christmas is on the Criterion Channel now, too and an article about the weirdness of watching people get murdered on film.). 

Black Christmas is dark.  I don't want to beat around the bush on this one.  I am glad I didn't pick it for a watch party, because it's not... fun.  It's mostly just grim.  Surprisingly well made, effective, etc...  but sometimes I watch a movie and I'm kind of glad I don't need to worry about how Jamie was taking it in.* 

Absolute Last Hallow-Scream Watch: The Leopard Man (1943)

Watched:  10/30/2021

Format:  TCM Noir Alley

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1940's

Director:  Jacques Tourneur

A very short film that manages to pack in what seems the plot and thrills of something much longer, The Leopard Man (1943) just uses a title that makes it sound like a sequel to The Cat People but delivers and entirely different thrill (or maybe not?).  

I *loved* this movie.  Great characters.  Misdirection.  A few scenes with genuine terror.  Beautifully shot and imagined.  This is the Val Lewton/ Jacques Tourneau you hear about in classic film circles.  For me - an unexpected ending that's terrifically framed.  I have no notes!

My understanding is that this is not just based on a Cornell Woolrich novel, but really sticks to the source material, even what's seen in specific characters' POVs.  I need to read some Woolrich.

I also was surprised to hear discussion of genocide of indigenous people by colonizing forces even mentioned, let alone treated as a tragedy. 

SPOILERS

Elvira Halloween Watch: Messiah of Evil (1973)

Watched:  10/31/2021

Format:  Elvira Special on Shudder

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz

A while back, JAL suggested we watch this film together, and I was "ok" and then things occurred and that didn't happen.  But as we were prepping to get together for a film, I noticed that this was the fourth entry in Elvira's 4 film 40th Anniversary celebration on Shudder.  I asked Justin, and he said "oh, yes.  Watch with Elvira."  And so I did.

Elvira seemed quite taken/ amused by the movie.  So that's a good sign in my book.  She broke into the film several times, not least because she was excited Elisha Cook Jr. was in the movie, and so say we all.  Anyway, if you've got Shudder, check out Messiah of Evil (1973) as part of her 4-film cycle.  

This movie very much wants to be a horror film in a certain classic sense of horror - of creeping dread and mystery slowly overtaking our heroes as they succumb to madness, violence of others, etc...  Letters are read from people not in the story who are gone missing.  People wander languidly in a dream-like state.  Our narrator starts off confined to an insane asylum, warning us of doom before telling her tale.  It's that kind of film.

It's not *that* bad.  The pacing is a mess, as are a lot of low-budget horror films from this era that think they're building tension but they're... killing time.  But it has two legit actors pop up as guest stars (Royal Dano being the other), and had two - frankly- really good, creepy murder sequences that feel like an electric jolt in this otherwise plodding movie.  

I don't think this movie is dumb, but it just feels like it's not quite sure what to do about its limitations.  And all of the actors seem like they're on Quaaludes.  So when you add zombie cultists into the mix...  and I have every reason to believe all of this was intentional.  

The pair behind the movie, Huyck and Katz, went on to do work on good movies, including American Graffiti.  And bad movies (Howard the Duck).  It's one of the folks in famous-people film circles who didn't quite become famous themselves.  

Anyway - check it out sometime!  And we can figure out why the main guy refuses to ever be seen without a vest on.

Halloween Watch Party: Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Watched:  10/29/2021

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  Unknown

Decade:  1950's

Director:  Jack Arnold

My goal for the Hallow-Scream Watch Parties was to watch some of the classic monster films with folks who hadn't seen them.  And:  mission accomplished.  

I think Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954) is a fantastic movie.  I've also seen it, like, 15 times, so I don't mind talking over it, giving it some light ribbing, and generally making it fun for people who might not otherwise watch the film.  

Anyway - I think it was more or less a success this year, so I'll look into it next year, too.  We didn't watch some classics like The Invisible Man, which absolutely demand a viewing.  And maybe Hammer?  I mean, people need to see Cushing and Lee fighting on a table.

But Creatch is a good one to end on.  It's really good, but feels a lot more like modern film.  Or, at least for those of us born 20 years after it came out, we have some perspective on what this was pointing to.  Especially as many of us are more than familiar with B-film.  And, man, it's such a pretty and well-designed film.  

Noir Horror Watch: Cat People (1942)

Watched:  10/31/2021

Format:  TCM Noir Alley

Viewing:  Third?

Decade:  1940's

Director:  Jacques Tourneau

I have watched this movie at least 1.75 times before, and found it odd and boring.  But I think, honestly, I must have picked up my phone or computer or something and quit watching.  Because this time...  holy cats (so to speak), I *finally* got what this movie was all about.

Honestly, I'd read so much about how great this movie was - I'd given it a go - but thought it was overhyped.  And frankly didn't know what people were talking about.  It literally almost felt like I had seen a different cut or something that missed all the good stuff when I'd previously seen this movie - because once you get to the petshop sequence, things really kick into gear here.

Anyway - THAT is the best possible case for a rewatch!  Trust in Eddie Muller if he's going to do a Halloween episode of Noir Alley!

Yes, the movie is the one where a cute woman is picked up by a typically dunder-headed American-male of the 1940's-1950's who considers all women the same, interchangeable wife-bots - where you just pick the aesthetic you like - and finds out:  whoops.  I married either a crazy person or a were-panther.  Either way:  there's a reason you may want to give pre-marital coitus a try before finding out she thinks doing so will lead to her transformation to a monstrosity.  And not in a fun way.

It is true, intentionally or otherwise, our lead is a handsome moron (I think intentionally), and the weight of what's going on is put on the shoulders of his new bride slowly going mad, were-panther or not, as she grapples with being unable to love.  

It's A LOT, and it is the most noiry-noir looking of movies.  That Tourneau is not afraid of a good shadow and what happens in those shadows.  

Anyhoo...  highly recommended.  

Can't believe they got away with this under the production code.

Hallow-Wax Watch: Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)

Watched:  10/30/2021

Format:  I am not sure?  DVR

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1930's

Director:  Michael Curtiz

So, this movie, Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933), is the one that the 1953 Vincent Price film, House of Wax, is based upon.   The plots are somewhat similar, certainly the set pieces and locations.  I think this movie, in turn, is based on a story and stageplay.  

Two fascinating things here, tho:  

1)  I've never watched a whole film in the two strip technicolor process.  It's weird as hell.  Perfect for horror, I think, but I imagine this gives me an idea how some color-blind people see the world, but in a weird inverse.  This is all reds and greens.

2)  It's mid-career work by Michael Curtiz!  Maybe one of the most versatile directors I can name, it's interesting to see him doing 30's horror and doing it so well

This movie differs in many ways from House of Wax, including a very 1930's woman reporter who is really the catalyst for most of the action, and I adored her (played by Glenda Farrell).  The great beauty that the crazed sculptor pursues is no less than Fay Wray, so... understandable, despite your murderous, psychopathic ways, sir.

The movie refuses to take itself too seriously, but does a great job of a grand guignol-type horror but with a fast-talking news woman anchoring the whole thing.  

I'd love to re-watch this one at some point, especially with other folks.  It has some terrific stuff the 1950's one eschewed for a more solid plot, but this one is equally entertaining in its own, incredibly 1930's pulpy fun way.  

Aviation Hallo-Watch: Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

if this scene seems unlikely, I have some big news for you about this film

Watched:  10/29/2021

Format:  Hulu

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2020's

Director:  Roseanne Liang

This movie is a mess, and I don't really get why it has "generally favorable" reviews on metacritic, other than that it twists itself in a pretzel to be a #metoo movie of the moment, dressed up in WWII and made by people who don't seem to know or care very much about the reality grounding the fantastic elements of their set-up.  

Moretz is a fine actor and it's great to see someone who was a kid actor show they can do this in a grown up role.  She looks the right age to be in the place she's at for 1943 or whatever this is.  But.  I think she needs to talk to her managers and agents.

It's WWII, and for some reason an all-Allies flight crew exists, which... fine.  Aussies, Scotsmen, Americans.  Flying a B-17.  A mysterious woman (Chloë Grace Moretz) with a mysterious package gets on board a flight as its about to taxi, headed out from New Zealand to Somoa.  She says she's operating under orders from the local Major, a real hard ass, and *she's classified*.

Upon take-off, the airmen all begin piling on an entire year's worth of the worst, most tasteless conversation likely to occur, all while Moretz is on the comms.  Oh, and for some reason, the only place they have for her to sit is the underbelly turret of the B-17.  

Zombie Watch: Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

Watched:  10/29/2021

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1990's

Director:  Brian Yuzna

I enjoyed this movie just fine, but I don't know how much and at what point the movie was kidding.  Maybe writ-large?  But it also seemed like it was being serious?  It sure wanted to do a doomed lovers plotline that, sure... why not?

But, yeah, it's a movie about the son of the military guy still mucking about with zombies and Trioxide which makes zombies - who is dating out of his league.  An accident occurs and his girlfriend is killed, so he exposes her to zombie-gas because he believes that the heart will go on, I guess.

Aside from zombie piercing fetish stuff, the movie is also an excuse for some Hollywood FX folks to flex, and, boy, do they ever.  Mostly that's bookending the movie, but when it shows up, it's really solid work.  

The name actor in this, as far as this blog is concerned, is Sara Douglas, who plays a very Sarah Douglas military officer.  But Melinda "Mindy" Clarke is... really good in this?  Like, she's asked to do A LOT under less than ideal conditions, and she does it all as the formerly alive girlfriend, Julie.  Anyway - she's still very much working and I guess I've seen her in things, but I did not watch The OC, so I missed out on that adventure.  

But, yeah... the movie feels like it's kidding, or at least not taking it as seriously as Romero takes his zombies, and it's probably a decent tone.  But it's also the 90's, so it's got a weird layer of anti-Hispanic racism which, you know, was incredibly common at the time.  So, maybe not "weird", but...  at least super clunky.

I don't get how zombies work in this, and I don't care.  It's fine.  

One thing I do know:  someone had a very specific kink and managed to work it into a feature film.  And for that, I applaud them.  

And I am all for a movie where the leads die in an incinerator in a loving embrace in the final shot.  Slow clap, movie.

Hammer Watch: The Scars of Dracula (1970)

Watched:  10/28/2021

Format:  YouTubeTV

Viewing:  First

Decade:  1970's

Director:  Roy Ward Baker

Christopher Lee played Dracula 10 times on film, 7 times for Hammer, this being the 5th outing for Hammer.  This Dracula film is one of 9 movies Christopher Lee starred in during the year 1970, when he was still sort of doing lines as Drac, and not just standing there or growling.  

Anyway, the man was supernaturally prolific.  

HALLOWEEN PODCAST: "The Fly II" (1989) - Halloween 2021 - Horror Sequels w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Watched:  09/12/2021

Format:  DVD

Viewing:  Second or third

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Chris Walas

For more ways to listen

SimonUK and Ryan see what all the buzz is about as they check out the sequel to the famous Cronenberg remake. This time, it's a wee baby insect man and Daphne Zuniga against the world and spooky corporate interests! Join us as we take a swat at a film that was one I think everyone saw on cable.

The Signal Watch PodCast · 167: "The Fly II" (1989) - Halloween 2021 - Horror Sequels w/ SimonUK and Ryan

Music:

Fly II Main Theme - Christopher Young

Halloween 2021 Playlist

The Signal Watch PodCast · Halloween 2021 - Horror Sequels

Hallow-Dead Watch: Evil Dead II - Dead by Dawn (1987)

Watched:  10/27/2021

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  ha

Decade:  1980's

Director:  Sam Raimi

One day I want to do a podcast on the Evil Dead movies, so I'll save some comments for that time.  But.  Evil Dead II (1987) never disappoints.  

Also - this was Jamie's Halloween watch selection.  So, you know, I feel I married well.