Hallo-Watch: Barbarian (2022)

Watched:  10/17/2025

Format:  Hulu

Viewing:  First

Director:  Zach Cregger

So, this is a movie by the guy behind the very popular 2025 film Weapons, which I do plan to watch at some point.  And when I said "yes, I will see Weapons", folks asked "but have you seen Barbarian (2022)?"  To which I would say "no".  Until NOW.

So...  this movie is part of the horror genre of inbred underground/ remotely dwelling folks who are going to give our unsuspecting leads a very bad time.  Or just weirdos living in a place.  So, movies like Death Line immediately come to mind.   But also The Hills Have Eyes.  The People Under the Stairs.  CHUD, I guess.  One could even point to Psycho (and I'll circle back to that)

I don't mean to say there's nothing special about this movie, but it feels like a Polly Pocket version of one of those movies.  Only, taking inspiration from some real-life cases of psychos kidnapping women and keeping them in their basement.  

Hallo-Watch: Salem's Lot (2024)

Watched:  10/15/2025

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Gary Dauberman

How does one make a movie that is supposed to be horrifying just weirdly annoying to watch?

Salem's Lot (2024) is here to crack this mystery wide open.  

Poor Steven King.  Probably tired of being mistaken for author Stephen King who wrote the book this movie is based on, which had a TV series or some such of it made back when I was a wee tot and missed the show.  And Stephen King has become a master of horror novels which have only been made into good movies if Stanley Kubrick takes the novel as a suggestion or its Rob Reiner making Stand By Me, which is not horror.    I do like Christine, though.  And Silver Bullet has its moments.  But neither is a patch on the books.*

Writer/ Director Gary Dauberman took a beloved American novel, wrote down "vampires" on a yellow pad, jotted down the character names from the book, and as near as Wikipedia can tell me, paid little attention to anything else.  And, instead, he wrote a nonsense script where everyone is dumb as a bag of rocks to the point where I was wondering if the movie was supposed to be a satire or spoof at times.  

Hallo-Watch: The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)

Watched:  10/14/2025

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  First

Director:  William Dieterle

Back in the 1970's and early 1980's, we were coming out of a monster movie craze aimed at kids.  I don't know how serious the craze was, but it did mean I wound up with a lot of monster movie books - but there was never a great criteria for what made a movie monster.  You might see the Wolf Man listed, which made sense - he changes shape and attacks nice folks.  And then you'd see The Phantom of the Opera, who is just a dude with an unfortunate condition and a penchant for sopranos, but did murder plenty of people.  And then, like, Jaws. So, large animals.   

Even as a kid I found the inclusion of The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) odd.  He was just a guy with a physical condition, and he wasn't out slitting throats or anything.  If his condition made him a monster, I had an elementary school guidance counselor who should have been far spookier and less of a great guy.

In short, this is a drama, not a horror movie.  It would be like calling Mask a horror movie because it has make-up effects to change an actor's appearance.  You live and learn.

Anyway, there is this 1939 version starring Charles Laughton and a very young Maureen O'Hara  (she's like 18 here) and then there's the OG silent version starring Lon Chaney, which I've never seen, but I will take in soon.  I've seen the Disney version on a 13" TV on VHS once, didn't like it much, and moved on with my life.

Hallo-Watch: The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

Watched:  10/12/2025

Format:  Prime

Viewing:  First

Director:  George Miller

I checked Roger Ebert's review of The Witches of Eastwick (1987).  Look, some movies are a product of their time, and this is one.  Ebert found it an edgy, sexy romp.  And that was how I remember the movie being discussed in 1987.

I finally got to the movie here in 2025, and in short, all of the interesting bits are left off-screen.  We hear about them, can infer or guess other bits.  But we're still in 1980's America here, and if you want to not wind up in the midnight movie ghetto, you keep it polite so Mom and Dad have a movie they can sneak off to go see and leave you alone with a rented copy of Beastmaster.  

The Witches of Eastwick is about two divorcees and a widow (Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer and Cher) who live in a small Rhode Island town where they are hit upon by married men and saddled with lives they don't want.  The three get together on Thursdays to eat processed crap food, drink, play cards and have someone listen.

During one such session, they describe what they want in a man, and, lo and behold, these three women - with what X-Men comics would call latent magical abilities - seem to summon exactly that man to their town in the form of Jack Nicholson/ some light version of Satan.  

Nicholson buys a massive mansion (think Newport on steroids) and proceeds to be an ass around town and impresses everyone he meets.  

He swiftly seduces Cher, Sarandon and... in front of the other two, Pfeiffer.  

Chabert Hallo-Watch: Haul Out The Halloween (2025)

Watched: 10/12/2025

Format:  Hallmark+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Maclain Nelson

Job: Copywriter/ Children's Book Author

Location of story:  Evergreen Lane - which I think is in Salt Lake City

new skill:  it's an old skill remembered - how to draw and write kid's books

Man:  Wes Brown

Job of Man:  Architect

Goes to/ Returns to:  stays in same place (this is the 3rd installment)

Event:  Halloween street fair

Food:  Cookies

Well, Ms. Lacey Chabert has released a new movie upon the Hallmark channel, and so we're back!

This is the third installment in the Haul Out the Holly Saga, a movie series which is about people who are absolutely nuts for holidays, their HOA and rules.  We've abandoned Christmas for Halloween this go-round, which - given the first movies are about going over the top with traditions - seems appropriate.  

This is, I should mention, a wacky comedy series with everything about the 'burbs heightened and zany, so don't take it too seriously.  It's a departure from Hallmark's usual "the characters are all smiling to let you know a joke happened" style of comedy, and, instead, works more like an 00's-era comedy - complete with joke-every-15-second pop culture referencing and a rap by Octogenarians.  

Hallo-Watch: Hereditary (2018)

Watched:  10/12/2025

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ari Aster

I really liked Midsommar by the same director, and I'd heard about 75% good things about Hereditary (2018) and maybe 25% meh to bad.  

Alas, the only scary thing in this movie is the pacing.   I get trying to build a mood, but holy cats, the mood should not be "for the love of Mike, get on with it".  The two hour run time felt like more than three.  And it just wasn't my bag, baby.  

I guess maybe if I hadn't already seen Midsommar, this might have been more effective, but that is not how things transpired.  Frankly, I was shocked at the audacity of Aster to have two movies with such similar endings back to back.  

The premise is fine, I guess.  Weird, controlling mother dies.  Daughter is accidentally killed.  Whoops, there's a secret cult worshipping an off-brand demon who has inhabited the daughter/ is merged with her? and now, in a ghostly fashion, slowly bothers this family to death.  And it's one of those movies where the evil wins (dramatic music).  Which would mean something if I cared what happened to any single character is this movie.  Temu Satan is going to take over the world because of these dopes?  I guess we got what we paid for.

I think the thing we're supposed to be impressed by are moods and the kooky connections we see, like Charlie, the girl, meaningfully cutting the head off a dead bird.  And oh boy, will decapitation ever be a motif.  Or her wanting to build effigies (much as her mother does in her own way).  

The selling point is supposed to be the family trauma.  Which, okay.  But... I didn't know these people at any point when they weren't brooding or gnashing their teeth or both.  So that's it - that's how I know them.  Unhappy people who become increasingly unhappy.

Meanwhile, the music is doing a lot of heavy lifting to insist scenes are intense or scary as we just kinda sit there as an audience waiting for the next piece of movie plot track to get laid down.  

I dunno, I just feel like I've seen one too many cult movies, and this one sort of just was that mixed with the 2010's horror trend of "the unknown" bothering nice white folks in their semi-rural house.  I didn't care about what was happening at any given moment, which is a weird way to feel when you're watching a movie.  If I'd turned it off and read the Wikipedia synopsis, I think I would have gotten the same amount out of the experience.

 

Parker Watch: Play Dirty (2025)

Watched:  10/09/2025

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Shane Black

Between 1962 and 2008, author Richard Stark (real name: Donald Westlake) delivered 24 Parker and Grofield novels.   Between sometime around 2010 and 2017, I read all of the Parker and Grofield books, mostly in order.  And I've re-read some since, including this year.  That's not a guarantee of anything for you, but it is a sign of something that this was the series I actually stuck with it.

Over the years, the books have been adapted here and there, but during Stark's lifetime, he had a rule that the studios not use the name "Parker" in their adaptations.  Likely because the studios always made changes, and he was protecting the essence of his character.

With Stark/ Westlake's passing, his wife allowed the studios to try another go at an adaptation, this time using the Parker name.  And, thus, we got the 2013 mid-tier film, Parker, starring Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez.  We talked about it here and here. 

But now we have a new take... and I do not know who this is for.

Musical Watch: Les Girls (1957)

Watched:  10/04/2025

Format:  TCM

Viewing:  First

Director:  George Cukor

Les Girls (1957) is what happens when someone sees Rashomon, likes the notion of the same story told from different angles, but lacks the ability or skill to write a story that pulls off the Rashomon-effect.  And, so, Les Girls is three different stories with the same characters that seem like they take place completely divorced from each other.  Because of this, and because none of the three stories is very interesting (and because my mind drifts when movies are dull), it is, I think, somewhat of a confusing watch.  

But if you read about Gene Kelly, Les Girls gets mentioned all the time, so I wanted to check it out.  

Horror Watch: Possession (1981)

Watched:  10/05/2025

Format:  Criterion

Viewing:  First

Director:  Andrzej Zulawski

Possession (1981) is one of those movies you see get routinely mentioned, but very rarely with *specifics* as to why it's on lists and recommended. 

Look, this is not a movie where one bops along with an A-B-C plot.  It's absolutely one of those movies - maybe like Inland Empire - where folks sure seem certain about what it is about but nobody agrees, including critics.  It is an easy movie to get engrossed in and like, mostly because it falls just on this side of adding up, and your brain is working overtime trying to stitch the pieces together.  Is it religious symbolism?  Is it not?  Is this a commentary on Berlin or using Berlin to make a point about divorce?  What's with...  you know...  the, uh... creature, I guess?

Doc Watch: Lilith Fair - Building a Mystery (2025)

Watched:  09/28/2025

Format:  Hulu

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ally Pankiw

First - it's remarkable how messed up the music industry was in the 1990's that I realize I kind of disliked some of the music from the artists in Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery (2025) not because of the music, but because if a song was any good in the 1990's, you kind of couldn't escape it for months at a time.  I think half of why I got weird about music in college and decided "I'm gonna go listen to Cole Porter standards" was because if I heard Hootie and the Blowfish one more time, I was going to shove pencils through my ear drums.  On the whole, radio, Muzak and MTV had a real "you like ice cream?  Great.  We're force feeding you a gallon of mint chocolate chip every hour for the next two months" sort of vibe.

It did not help that I was working in a Camelot Records during the period when the artists who would become the headliners at Lilith Fair in the first years were releasing their music.  (So tired were we of Paula Cole's  "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" that, behind the counter we would whisper to each other in response to Cole's query, "Up my butt".  But almost 30 years later, that song is a-ok, Paula Cole.)  

The documentary of Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery charts the origins, rise, challenges to, and eventual final wrap-up of the initial go at Lilith Fair, and its place in culture in the 1990's.  It shows how the very suddenly popular Sarah McLachlan parlayed both her position and organization into recruiting other female artists and playing multiple summers of tours from the mid-90's to 1999.  Along the way, luminaries like Patti Smith, Bonnie Raitt, Erykah Badu, Emmylou Harris, Suzanne Vega and countless others joined McLachlan on the road to help change perceptions of how women fit into the music industry.  

And, it's impressive who was willing to show up and speak on camera about the festival.  All of the women listed above, minus Smith.  Jewel.  Joan Osborne.  Cole.  Natalie Merchant.  Liz Phair.  Sheryl Crow.  Indigo Girls.  And plenty more.  

Nunsploitation Watch: To The Devil A Daughter (1976)

Watched:  09/15/2025

Format:  Criterion

Viewing:  First

Director:  Peter Sykes

It's hard not to see To The Devil a Daughter (1976) as existing due to Rosemary's Baby's wild success, a dash of 1970's-style Satanic Panic, and a dollop of Hammer's latter-era horror output like The Devil Rides Out (this is a Hammer co-production).  It's based on a novel by Dennis Wheatley from the 1950's, so good on the printed word leading the way here.

For reasons that kinda make sense if what I understand about Hammer's financial state in the 70's, a German company was involved in financing and production.  

The movie stars an American, Richard Widmark, who made his name in noir - especially with Kiss of Death, with which he's still widely associated - and then went on to participate in a wide-range of movies and roles.  Widmark plays a writer who has written a sensationalistic best-seller about Satanism, who is represented by former Bond-girl Honor Blackman, his pal in London,* and her boyfriend, David.

Nunsploitation Watch: Behind Convent Walls (1978)

Watched:  09/13/2025

Format:  Criterion

Viewing;  First

Director:  Walerian Borowczyk

Uhm.

So.

Yeah.

And.

Right.

So.

Behind Convent Walls (1978) is a lot more what I had in mind when the word "Nunsploitation" entered my vocabulary a few weeks ago.  For good or ill.

Horror Watch: Alucarda (1977)

Watched:  09/08/2025

Format:  Criterion

Viewing:  First

Director:  Juan Lopez Moctezuma

Now that's how you make a horror movie.

Start with a base of Carmilla, the pre-Dracula vampire story about sapphic vampires (or 1970's The Vampire Lovers), sprinkle in some Dracula, add in some The Exorcist, probably three or four movies I'm not thinking of or aware of, and then a dollop of Carrie for the finale.  

A Mexican-produced film, Alucarda (1977) is just batshit from the first scene and then cranks it up to 11.  I'm not sure it's in any way scary - any more than a Hammer film ever feels frightening - but it's a crazy spectacle - and never fails to be *interesting*.

80's Art-Sploitation Film Watch: Ms.45 (1981)

Watched:  09/06/2025

Format:  Criterion

Viewing:  First

Director:  Abel Ferrara

Criterion Channel currently has a collection of "Nunsploitation" movies, and of their 7 offerings or so, I'd already seen three in my life (Haxan, Benedetta, The Devils) and I'd been meaning to catch Ms. 45 (1981) since seeing something about it a few years ago.  So here we are.  

And, yes, if I can watch 70+ Lacey Chabert movies, I can watch the remaining Nunsploitation movies.

Director Abel Ferrara was kind of a big deal when I was in film school, coming off of The Bad Lieutenant (worth seeing once, at least) and following up with The Addiction, with the Body Snatchers remake in between.  Unfortunately, I kinda stopped tracking indie film a while ago and lost sight of him, but he's been out there making movies all along.  He was not afraid of what was too much for an audience, and seemed not just to push margins but lived there.  

So this early film is a pretty good indicator of what he was capable of.  

JLC Watch: Freakier Friday (2025)

Watched:  08/27/2025

Format:  Alamo

Viewing:  First

Director:  Nisha Ganatra

We all know I went to see this because it stars JLC, and that's fine.  I'd also finally recently watched the 2003 version of Freaky Friday for the first time, liked it much more than expected, and - now that I have the Alamo Pass, popping off to go watch a movie is not such an ordeal.  In fact, I feel pretty incentivized to use the heck out of the pass.

I am not sure if I hadn't seen the 2003 movie, though, if I wouldn't have missed a lot or even been lost.  So, watch that first.  

Here in 2025, I think we finally kind of figured out how to do these late-entry sequels no one was asking for and make it worth it.  As evidence, I'll enter in Freakier Friday (2025) which manages to expand on the set-up of the general Freaky Friday concept, do new things with it, be very funny, and feel like it has some emotional resonance at the end that I'm not sure any of the prior entries, or most body swap movies in general, tend to earn.  

Comedy Watch: The Naked Gun (2025)

Watched:  08/13/2025

Format:  Drafthouse

Viewing:  First

Director:  Akiva Schaffer

If you're wondering if The Naked Gun (2025) lives up to the original film, it's really, really close.  It's, of course, trying to recapture that same vibe, and mostly hits the mark while also absolutely having moments that will have you saying "well, that's clearly Akiva Schaffer".  And I mean that in the best way.

I won't actually do a dive on this because it's a joke every 30 second comedy, exists to be that, and does so.  There are great gags that I'll be laughing about tomorrow, and sequences that made me fold over in my chair laughing.  You'll know what they are.

And everyone is funny.  Neeson I've seen be hysterical before, so this was not a shock, but he nails the Police Squad brand of humor..  Pam Anderson has great comedy chops and I hope this pair gets a sequel to do more.  Paul Walter Houser shows up as Ed, and I'm becoming a fan.  CCH Pounder even gets to send-up very specific police chief tropes and it's just hysterical having it come from her.

If I have a recommendation, find the person in the theater who is going to laugh like a maniac and sit near them.  I was fortunate to have "deep belly laugh" guy behind me, and it helped to be in a theater and join that guy in knowing it's okay to laugh like that in a theater.

Disney Watch: The Shaggy Dog (1959)

Watched:  08/09/2025

Format:  Disney+

Viewing:  First

Director:  Charles Barton

First, this movie's opening sequence slaps.  

The rest of The Shaggy Dog (1959) was never going to live up to whatever that was, but I basically enjoyed it.

I tell you what - for what this movie is, which is a near 70-year-old movie for kids probably up to age 12 or so, and adults looking for utter nonsense, this fit the bill for some silly viewing.

The basic plot is not basic - it is, in fact, a "shaggy dog story".  I don't know why we call intentionally long stories with side-plots and a sad trombone of an ending a "shaggy dog story", but we do, and Wikipedia has a theory as to why.  But, yeah, it's an entire movie leading up to a punchline about Annette Funicello finding a better guy than the two guys initially interested in her.

French Noir Watch: Le Cercle Rouge (1970)

Watched:  07/27/2025

Format:  4K disc

Viewing:  First

Director:  Jean-Pierre Melville

So, there's a whole bunch of Criterion movies on sale on Amazon, and I wasn't doing much this weekend, so I got silly and justified the expense on this movie.  Because.  

Leave me alone.  Sometimes I do things.

If you've never dipped your toe in French noir, or only watched Breathless, the French noir movement is fascinating as it's so clearly done with love for and homage to American noir (which the French coined - we just called them crime movies).  I assume American culture was imported via Hollywood in the post-war years as American GI's rambled around Europe and France took a minute to get its film industry fired up again.  But the American movies are refracted through the lens of a nation crawling out from occupation, and maybe contain the spirit which gave us Camus.  

I mean, one of the French noir films I'd rec is called Elevator to the Gallows.  Fate vs. freewill and existential dread hangs heavy on the minds of these movies - more so than American films mostly being about "don't pursue the wrong dame".

Le Cercle Rouge (1970) is a crime/ heist movie in which we're told at the outset, before we meet any characters "these people will come together, and it will go very badly, indeed".  And, that is what happens.

Marvel Watch: Fantastic Four - First Steps (2025)

Watched:  07/27/2025

Format:  Drafthouse

Viewing:  First

Director:  Matt Shakman

Well, nothing says "I am a cool dude" like showing up for a 9:00 AM screening for Fantastic Four by yourself.  I don't know if 12-year-old me is dying inside or deeply impressed I'm still committed to the cause.

Fantastic Four is not a comic I read a lot.  I very much enjoy the first issues by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, but kind of lose interest after that - though Mark Waid's run is mind-boggling.  I do love the idea of the team as a bunch of science-adventurers more than just caped vigilantes,* and their individual personalities and the family dynamic.  Also, my earliest memories include watching that jenky Fantastic Four cartoon of the 1960's the movie references.  

I've never seen the Corman movie, but have seen the two 00's-era movies, and the 10's body-horror movie that was Fox's "edgy" take on the FF.  The movies were uniformly not-good, no matter what your Millennial nostalgia brain is trying to Space Jam Fallacy you into believing.

Coen Watch: Drive-Away Dolls (2024)

Watched:  07/25/2025

Format:  Peacock

Viewing:  First

Director:  Ethan Coen

Is anything more telling about what the Coen Bros. each brought to their team than that when the brothers decided to do independent projects, Joel Coen made a mannered and styled Macbeth and Ethan Coen made Drive-Away Dolls (2024)?  

The mix of high-brow and low-brow - even Raising Arizona has thematic and nigh-poetic aspirations - was their hallmark, with ultra-specific characters, absurdist humor, and deeply human stories - culminating in the excellence of their track record over years and movies that had a stamp audiences recognized and sought out.  

I was vaguely aware Drive-Away Dolls received very mixed reviews, and audiences were kind of irritated with it.  

Which, no kidding.  The movie isn't overly concerned with good taste or your politics or the horseshoe turn lefties online took into agreeing with the Catholic League about how movies are for perverts if they acknowledge sex and show blood with violence.  Instead, this flick is an old-fashioned pulp crime comedy with a heavy layering of what turns out to be the sense of oddball humor that the Coens always brought, that apparently was Ethan Coen's contribution.