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| this @#$%ing pile of *&^% |
Watched: 11/16/2024
Format: Hulu
Viewing: First
Director: Michael Bay
I write this post from beyond the grave.
I'm not sure what it was that, specifically, convinced my soul to abandon my body during Armageddon (1998). There were so, so many options - from Ben Affleck leading the cast in singing "Leaving on a Jet Plane" to Bruce Willis shooting up a functioning oil rig with a shotgun to Liv Tyler disrupting everything in NASA Mission Command screaming about her "daddy". Or maybe just the premise of the film altogether. But with 30 extremely loud and stupid minutes left to go, I realized I had passed on to the blogging platform in the sky.
This movie is essentially the redneck fever dream of people furious at other people who paid attention in school or watch PBS because that shit ain't cool. Michael Bay and Bruckheimer are convinced only nerds care how things work and what the movie needs to do is think of funny and rad things to show - but are neither funny nor that rad.
I'm not averse to anything about the movie on paper. A ragtag crew is called in to save the world and blow up an asteroid aimed at Earth. Sure. Why not? The actors lined up are *good* to *great*. So the challenges arrive in every writing, directing, editing and other creative decision that went into the film.
