RiffTrax Watch: Suburban Sasquatch (2004)

"it'll look great on camera"

Watched:  06/21/2024

Format:  YouTube

Viewing:  First

Director:  Dave Wascavage

I watched this over 4 days, finishing just moments before putting on Ember Days, and could not muster the energy to discuss both movies too close to each other.  It was too much for any one man.  But here we are.

What stirs the visions of would-be writer/ directors?   Is it the story they must tell that drives them so?  The need to express themselves?  A dream of becoming part of the Hollywood establishment?  A dream to work as an outsider?

What keeps them going through the long days and nights of pre-production, shooting and then editing?  What is the motivator to make a film when it requires expensive FX they simply cannot afford?  What convinces the actors to show up every day of that shoot, put on their "costume" and read clunky dialog?

Simply, I cannot imagine.  This is, like, time and money out of someone's life.  It's a real "maximum effort for minimum return" proposition.

And yet, every day there's someone out there who has convinced people in their lives that: what we all need to do is make a movie.  How hard could it be?  

And, indeed, you can do all of those things - but, then, how do you get your movies seen?  What is it for?

I don't know if Suburban Sasquatch (2004) was sent to festivals, was accepted into festivals, if they tried to sell it online or what happened.  But I wonder that about a *lot* of things I end of watching.  Sometimes you know that the content (see: A Talking Cat ?!?) was produced to exploit a known loophole in how international carriers will buy anything vaguely American-looking.  Especially if it has name talent (Eric Roberts provides the voice of the cat), and so folks working and living on the periphery of the entertainment industry make some extra scratch.

But other times, there's a bunch of folks in Pennsylvania who think "we can make a Bigfoot movie.  No, we don't know anything about filmmaking.  Or making a costume.  Or FX.  Or acting.  Or directing.  Or how to find a believable cop costume.  But we cannot let that stop us.  Because we have time and video is cheap since we have a camera already."  And I suspect anyone seeing the movie after the film is complete, and you've added the majestic closing music, is a happy accident.

The question I will always have about these movies is "were they kidding?"  Because when someone does make a winkingly bad movie, you can usually tell.  But this one feels... sincere?  

Anyway, Suburban Sasquatch (2004) is a thing that exists.  It's been recently released in 4 parts with full Riffs (I cannot imagine how this would be to watch un-aided) directly to YouTube.  And it is a journey.

I cannot say much more, but if you enjoyed Birdemic, this is a good follow-up.

Yes, there's terrible CGI.  But, also, bad acting, a self-serious plot that is utterly unwarranted, and the single worst monster costume of the 21st century.  And it's maybe racist.  The jury is still out.

Who was this for and why does it exist?  I cannot say.  What were their hopes and dreams around this film?  Unclear.  But it looks like they had a blast making it.  Well, maybe not the young lady with the bow and arrow.  She doesn't look very happy.

But the RiffTrax crew have a blast, and it's very, very fun.

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