Finally Watched It: Road House (1989)

fighter, lover, terrible driver...  DALTON ROADHOUSE

Watched:  04/12/2024

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director:  Rowdy?

Selection:  Me

So.  Yeah.  I'd never seen Road House (1989). 

In 1989, there were a lot of great movies to see, and I saw a lot of them.  But seeing Patrick Swayze try on the part of action star in a movie about bouncers was not going to draw my interest.  My guess is that we didn't have HBO during whatever window most other people saw it, and so I didn't pay it much attention.

I do remember in college some folks effusing about the film, never quite an outright appreciation for the film, but the germ of what would become the meme-ification of the movie.  Also, in summer of 1996, I worked at Camelot Records, and we stocked magazines.  Kelly Lynch was the cover model on one of these, and the entirety of the summer, we did not move a single copy of the magazine, so all summer I pondered this woman on the cover I'd never heard of, and had to be told "oh, she's from Road House". 

And then, I dunno, the past 15-20 years, it seems like the movie took on a life of it's own.  "Road House is awesome" became the refrain.   But I still never got around to it.  Partially because people always assume you've seen it, so I'd had many parts of it discussed in front of me, around me, etc... and then folks would say "well, you must love this movie!" and I'd say "no, I never saw it."  And people would demand answers.  Which I think is kind of weird.  But is also a thing people do.  

Anyway, I have now seen Road House, and it's

Look, I was not disappointed.  This movie is weirder and better than I expected, and unapologetic about what it is.  It's a bit of a western in some ways and a 1970's throwback in some ways, as far as the small-town lawlessness and the drifter coming in to identify the problem and exact justice for the people (think Shane or Standing Tall or Billy Jack).  It's also part of the continuity of the 1980's that brought us Over the Top, a movie about the world of Arm Wrestling and the celebrities thereof.  So why not famous bouncers?

And once that's what you've decided to do, really, pointing out "hey, why doesn't anyone have a gun?" or "the cops are fine with a bar where murders happen?" seems kind of like a dumb thing to do.    Because, shit no, no one has a gun, because that would pause the punching.  No cops are around because (cops have guns and) their appearance would also reduce the Punching/minutes.  Bouncers have senseis in the form of Sam Elliot - because of course it's Sam Elliot.  And the band keeps playing while people alternately fight or strip in front of them.  

The movie is as full of nudity as anything I can recollect, including lingering shots of Swayze's glutes (somehow co-star Kelly Lynch never really gets naked).  And I would think this would be a problem for the younger viewers who claim to be scandalized by nudity and sex in movies, but I think it's just such a part of such an engrossingly weird movie, you can't really fault the movie - just the 1980's and cocaine.

Did the throat-ripping live up to the hype?  It did.  Was Sam Elliot's hair a work of art?  It was.  Is it amazing that Swayze's "Dalton" is an NYU educated philosopher who practices back-yard karate he thinks is king-fu?  1000%.  Does he say weird things and get overpaid?  10,000%.

By the way, my own brother, in college, was a philosophy major who was a bouncer as his summertime gig.  I dearly wish I'd known this 20 years ago so we could have re-named him "Dalton".

The weirdest thing about the movie is that (a) it is almost 2 hours long, and (b) seems to take forever to get to all the predictable stuff.

But I will give the film this:  you do spend the runtime wondering why the locals don't just 1) buy guns and 2) murder Ben Gazzara's character and be done with it.  

And, what do you know?  There's your movie's ending, answering the question of why no guns earlier on.

Did I mention legendary actor Ben Gazzara?  I did.  And he is absolutely enjoying earning a paycheck here instead of making some super serious drama or little indie picture somewhere.  

The movie also features "that guy!" actor Kevin Tighe and an absolute busload of guys you've seen play thugs and crooks.  Plus familiar face Kathleen Wilhoite, whom you've seen in 80,000 things.  

It also has flash-in-the-pan blues-rocker Jeff Healey (known before the film as a bling singer/ guitarist), who got a lot of mileage out of this part if I remember MTV accurately from the time.  

But, yeah, 35 years later, Healey, Swayze, Gazzara and at least one other actor I looked up are all dead.  And yet no one has decided this movie is cursed?  Bad form, internet.