We Review "One Million Years B.C." for Texas Public Radio

Check out our review over at Texas Public Radio.

Friday Non-Post: Enjoy the Silence

here, for no reason, is Lynda Carter on skates

Sorry about the lack of posting - if, indeed, you noticed my rate of posting has slowed.  We're all fine here.

I'll have a link to a review I did for Texas Public Radio up in the next 48 hours or so.  That was a fun one, so I look forward to sharing.

We've also hit that late-winter/ spring-time period where all our shows are on and so I'm not watching many movies.  Everything from The Flash to The Americans is currently running (no pun intended), plus I've got an episode or two of Twin Peaks left.

No, I haven't seen Logan.  I thought that movie was coming out in May or something and wasn't paying that much attention.  The X-films haven't really been my bag for a while.  It's supposedly pretty good, so I'll fix that next week if I can.

Yes, I have tickets to see Kong: Skull Island.  I will have seen it by late Saturday night.

I'm currently listening to the audiobook of Altered Carbon, and I'll have plenty to say on that when I wrap it up.  And I've been listening to podcasts of You Must Remember This and am making my way through the HUAC/ Blacklist episodes.  There's something that suddenly feels a whole lot more present.

Anyway, hope you're all well.

Robert Osborne Goes to that Movie House in the Great Beyond

Dang.

Turner Classic Movies host Robert Osborne has merged with The Infinite.

I was pretty much convinced that Robert Osborne was a robot.  It didn't matter what time of day or night I switched on Turner Classic Movies, if a movie wasn't playing, he was providing an intro or outro in a smooth, polished, knowledgeable manner, like the best film prof you never had.  In theory he was the prime-time host, but for several years in there, I literally remember no one else.

I mean, sure, it was just a few minutes per movie, but those need to be written, shot, etc... and it was clear he was pretty hands-on with all aspects.  Including the phenomenal interviews he wrangled with innumerable Hollywood icons, and later as he'd co-host series with  modern luminaries reflecting back on whatever run of movies they were about to show.  And he always got to the nut of what made the film special both writ large and what made fans (these modern film stars) so passionate about the movie.

Bond Watch: The World is Not Enough (1999)

Oof.

If all you've heard about The World is Not Enough (1999) is that Denise Richards is hopelessly miscast and bad at the whole acting bit, well, yes.  That's a good chunk of what you'll want to know before entering into this particular Bond flick.

I'd never seen this movie before because, by 1999, I was not going to see a Bond movie that was starring Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.  And maybe that was a good instinct.  Unfortunately I do think I missed out on a few good Bond scenes.  Maybe not the most exciting Bond plot of all time (there's a part in the middle that positively drags), and the post-Michelle Yeoh hangover is sorely felt.

The plot is overly intricate, even for a Bond movie, to the point where I literally didn't know what was going on, who people were, etc... because I checked my phone for a minute.  I caught up eventually, but by then Denise Richards was in the movie and that was...  man.  She is not good.

Once again Bond winds up chasing around renegade nukes (if anything should have taught us what a bad idea it is to have nuclear weapons, it would have been these movies and the propensity for these weapons to wind up in villainous hands) after a bunch of stuff about a billionaire guy's daughter getting kidnapped, Bond going to support her in Azerbaijan (her mother was Azerbaijani, her father British), and get her father's oil pipeline completed.  She'd freed herself from some terrorists led by Robert Carlyle playing a superhuman Russian, etc... et al.  It's complicated.

It's also all a bit forgettable.  What you will remember is the stunning boat chase along the Thames, Denise Richards' boob-tacular scientist wear*, and bizarrely outfitted helicopters (which are apparently entirely real).  And, they were introducing John Cleese as the all-new Q as Desmond Lleyelyn was retiring (he actually died a month after this movie was released).

Look, I'm also not the world's biggest fan of Robert Carlyle, and I felt like his character got a shit-ton of set-up, and then the movie did too little with the idea.  After Jonathan Pryce's megalomaniacal media overlord, this seems like small potatoes (even though the potential bodycount is also in the millions, should Bond fail).  I did like the primary Bond girl in the film (not Denise Richards) played by Sophie Marceau, but her storyline takes, like, forever to unfold.

I dunno.  I do know this plot is less ludicrous than what's coming in the next film.


*speaking of boobs - while Ms. Marceau is a beauty to behold, physics suggest to me that she's been dealt some unfortunate Photoshopping in the above poster.


*trust me, this is hilarious if you work on a college campus