Did watching people talk about Prime Directives and interstellar anomalies make you... uncomfortable? Maybe even angry? Were you just waiting for that bald guy to quit talking and for the boney-headed guy to shoot somebody? Was it weird that the old Star Trek was... old and stuff?
Well, buddy, have I got a Star Trek for you!
Featuring space people who KICK-ASS, CRACK-WISE and ARE SEXY AS HELL™, this ain't your DADDY'S STAR TREK (not that your Dad would have ever watched that p***y s**t, anyway. He was more of Beastmaster guy). We've fixed your lame-ass Star Trek to give it all the same excitement as pounding a Coors Silver Bullet while you ride your jet ski through a flaming hoop with a topless model straddling your junk!
Like 20 year old pop songs?!! SO DOES CAPTAIN KIRK!!! Like aliens that look mean as hell but who you could still beat in a fist fight? We got 'em! Like the idea of banging alien broads? Well, Kirk was always into that.
So, stop worrying, bud! That way Star Trek used to work where those @#$%s wouldn't just shoot first and sort it out later? We've taken care of that. And we've got funny @#$%ing jokes for the guys to say. Say adios to that feeling you used to have where you just wanted to give a wedgie to every last one of those space-nerds. Now you'll want to blast the speakers in your Camaro with your space bros while you swing through the Party Barn and grab a case of Milwaukee's Best.
@#$%. Yeah! They finally fixed it.
Film. Comics. Sci-Fi. Superheroes. Pulp. Noir. History. Superman. 20th Century Archaeology.
1 comment:
It does feel like... a bit much.
Post a Comment